-=THE LAST FANTASY=- 荣誉出品 本字幕仅供学习交流，严禁用于商业途径 -=THE LAST FANTASY=- Proudly Presents
-=TLF-DivX字幕组=- 翻译：lh2004 校对：lh2004 -=TLF SUB TEAM=- English Sub Synced By KOK
∮Youthoughtyou had found a good girl ∮
∮ One to love you and give you the world ∮
∮ Now you find that you've been misused ∮
∮ Talk to me, I'll do what you choose ∮
∮ I want you to ∮
∮ Tell Mama ∮
∮ All about it ∮
∮ Tell Mama ∮
∮ What you need ∮
∮ Tell Mama ∮
∮ What you want ∮
∮ And I'll make everything all right ∮
∮ That girl you had didn't have no sense ∮
∮ She wasn't worth all the time that you spent ∮
∮ She had another man throw you outdoors ∮
∮ Now the same man is wearing your clothes ∮
∮ I want you to tell Mama ∮
∮ Tell Mama ∮
∮ What you want ∮
∮ And I'll make everything all right... ∮
嗨，我是查理，请留言 Hi, it's Charlie. Leave a message.
嗨，查理，我是洛杉矶临时雇员代理中心的卡罗尔 Hi, Charlie. It's Carol from the LA Temp Agency.
听着，贝泰尔医生的明天需要你去，可以吗？ Listen, Dr. Batel's office needs you for tomorrow. Is that okay?
请联系我，再见 Let me know. Bye.
早上好 Good morning, neighbor.
嗨，自便吧 Hey. Help yourself.
哦，谢谢，我都给吃光了 Oh, thanks. I was out of everything.
哦，我干嘛要自找麻烦呢？ Aw, why do I even bother?
你知道，雷米，我把钥匙给你 是让你紧急时候才用的 You know, Remy, I gave you that key for emergencies.
非常非常紧急 Extreme emergencies.
确实是啊，我需要喝咖啡 It was. I needed caffeine.
不知道，这很好 我都想穿了 I don't know. This is good. I'd even wear it.
好吧，我得走了 我的第一份工作要迟到了 Good, 'cause I've got to go. I'm late for my first client.
你呆着吧，吃点早餐，洗个澡 But you stay, have breakfast, take a shower.
翻翻我的抽屉 Go through my drawers.
∮ Tell Mama ∮
∮ All about it ∮
∮ Tell Mama ∮
∮ What you want ∮
∮ Tell Mama... ∮
- 嗨，查理. - 早上好 - Hey, Charlie. - Morning.
- 孩子们准备好了？ - 龙！佐罗！ - Are the boys ready? - Dragon! Zorro!
嗨，孩子们 Hey! There are my boys.
走吧 Come on. Yay.
- 再见 - 再见 - See you later! - Bye!
- 乖乖的，孩子们 - 喔，慢点 - Be good, boys! - Whoa! Slow down!
∮ Tell Mama all about it ∮
∮ Tell Mama what you need... ∮
“今天，空中弥漫着浪漫 "Romance is in the air today.
没有人能抗拒你的魅力” No one can resist your obvious charms."
哦，奥蒂斯，你的星座好像很准 Well, Otis, your horoscope seems accurate.
别这样 Stop it. Come on.
让我看看我自己的 Let's read mine. Okay.
“今天不要离开你的家” 太晚了 "Do not leave your house today." Too late.
“不要拼命找寻，爱就在你面前” "And stop looking so hard. Love is right in front of you."
嗨，怎么回事？ Hey. What's wrong?
我订的是脱脂奶香咖啡 而现在我连脂肪都吃出来了 I ordered a nonfat latte. I can taste the fat.
我很乐意为你更换 I would be happy to change it for you, sir.
难道你连一杯咖啡也做不好？ 我都吃到脂肪了 Can't you even make a friggin' cup of coffee? I can taste the fat.
做一杯这样的咖啡很难吗？ How hard it is to make a friggin' cup of coffee?
如果你愿意，我可以再做一杯给你 I can make another one for you if you'd like. I'd be happy
- 来换你这杯 - 喂？没事了 - to exchange it for you, sir. - Hello? It's okay.
- 你做的够多了，谢谢 - 很抱歉 - You've done enough, thanks. - I'm sorry.
因果报应 Karma.
- 开心点 - 谢谢 - Have a good one. - Thanks, girl!
- 哦，对不起 - 哦，是我对不起 - Oh, sorry. - Oh, I'm sorry.
嗨 Hi.
我不知道怎么玩塔罗牌 I don't know how to read tarot cards.
- 为什么会这样？ - 好吧，就试试 - Why am I in the cards? - Come on, just try.
哦，这个疯狂的老女人不停地出现 Okay, well, this crazy old lady keeps coming up.
穿着闪亮盔甲的武士 The knight in shining armor.
- 那是我的 - 不不不，什么？ - Mmm! That's mine. - No no no. What?
- 我今天看见这个人两次 - 哪个人？ - I saw this guy twice today. - That guy?
一天两次，那应该是个预兆，对吗？ Two times in one day. That's got to be a sign, right?
一个预兆 Mm, a sign.
是的，好吧，他怎么对你说的？ Yeah, okay. What did he say when you talked to him?
我没有和他说话 I didn't talk to him.
哦，你肯定他看见你了？ Well, are you sure he saw you?
是的！我是说，我认为是的 Yeah! I mean, I think so.
好吧，亲爱的，我们有点担心你 Okay, honey, we're worried about you
因为你变得有点不正常了 because you're turning into a little bit of a freak.
我们认为是因为没有发生关系的原因 Yeah, we think it's from not having sex.
- 一点没错 - 听着，就因为... - Exactly. - Look, just because...
我有一段时间没有那个 I haven't been in a relationship in a while
并不意味着我很可怜 doesn't mean I'm miserable.
我只是想找一个可爱的男人 I just want a sweet guy,
你知道，那种男人，强壮，不过又... you know, a guy who's strong but still...
...偶尔会外出 ...opens a door once in a while.
而且对事情观察入微，还有... and who notices things and...
你知道，也许就是和别人不一样 you know, maybe makes a difference.
也许他弥补了你 Maybe he completes you.
哦 Oh.
你弥补了我 You complete me.
哦，对不起 Oh, sorry.
贝泰尔办公室 嗨，雷诺兹夫人 Dr. Batel's office. Hi, Mrs. Reynolds.
去祖母家, 告诉她我会晚点回去 - Go to Grandma's, tell her I'll be home late.
我还有点活要干... - 好的, 你能等会儿吗? - I still have stitches to do... - Yeah, can you please hold?
回家见 I'll see you at home.
你知道吗? 你走吧我可以帮你的忙 You know what? You go ahead. I can do that for you.
- 谢谢了，查理，你真可爱 - 没问题 - Oh thank you, Charlie. You're a doll. - No problem.
嗨，乔治 Hey, George.
- 你好吗，查理? - 很好 - How're you doing, Charlie? - Good.
- 你拿的是什么？ - 医生叫我 - What do you got there? - The doctor asked me
把这个从家里带来 to bring it from home.
喔，好的 Whew! Okay!
很好，医生马上就会和你见面 All right. The doctor will be right with you.
∮ I said "Leap into my arms, babe" ∮
- Thank you. - ∮ Come on, dive into the stove... ∮
我们来了 We're here!
感谢上帝你们来了 Thank God you guys are here.
今晚少了两个女孩，给 I am down two girls tonight. Here.
- 很抱歉，就剩这些了 - 太可爱了 - Sorry, that's all I got left. - Sweet.
你知道，我很高兴 Wow. You know, I love that I am now comfortable enough with my sexuality
- 象这样穿起衣服来很性感，对吗？ - 你穿起来很好看 - to wear something like this, you know? - Looks good on you.
- 嗨，怎么了？ - 把围裙脱下来 - Hey, what's up? - Take off the apron now.
- 对不起 - 我们从哪开始？ - Sorry. - Where do we start?
好吧，把这些虾球拿出去 Okay, uh, hand out these shrimp balls.
得起个好听一点的名字 There has got to be a better name for those.
- 我觉得这个名字也不错 - 这个名字有什么问题吗？ - I don't think it's that bad of a name. - What's wrong with the name?
∮ I said, I say, sometimes we look back... ∮
- 哦，天哪，是他 - 喔，谁？是谁？ - Oh my God, that's him. - Whoa! Who? Who?
我遇到的那个人，他在这 The guy I ran into. He's here.
- 哪里？ - 什么？ - Where? - What?
2天里面碰见了3次 什么情况下会有这种机会？ That is three times in two days. What are the chances of that?
- 哦，比如像...没有 - 那是菲尔德医生 - Um, like, none. - That's Dr. Fields.
这是他的派对 他刚从三藩市搬回来 This is his party. He just moved back from San Francisco.
- 真的？ - 没错 - Really? - Yeah.
哦，你说得没错，他很惹火 Well, you're right. He is hot.
∮ Flirting with disaster ∮
∮ You're the one I'm after ∮
∮ I think I've found my destiny ∮
∮ I can fly ∮
∮ On the wings of my heart ∮
∮ Deep inside ∮
∮ I've been falling apart ∮
∮ L-l-love ∮
∮ There's a magic in you ∮
∮ And I'll be ∮
最精彩的部分来了 - ∮ Under your spell... ∮ - Here's the best part.
那个家伙心跳停止了 The guy then goes into cardiac arrest,
凯文对他进行了急救 Kevin performs CPR on the guy,
又把他救活了 saves his life again.
天哪，他真讨厌，对吗？ God. Disgusting, isn't he?
不，你很了不起 No, you are amazing.
没错 Yeah.
说什么？ Excuse me?
等等，有什么吃的？ W-wait wait wait. What do we have there?
哦，球 Oh, um, balls.
是虾球 Uh, shrimp balls.
虾在... Um, shrimp in...
...球里面 ...balls.
很抱歉 I'm sorry,
不过我们对鱼类的生殖器不是很感兴趣 but we're not really into fish genitalia.
哦，是啊 Yeah, okay.
她真的在听我们谈话吗？ Was she really listening to our conversation?
对不起 Excuse me.
等等 Wait a second.
我知道你的两件事，你在饮食业上班 Um, so I know two things about you-- you work in catering,
还有你有很多狗 and you have a lot of dogs.
哦，那个...不 Oh, that-- no.
我是个遛狗的而已 Uh, I'm a dog walker.
我可不是那种疯狂的养着1万2千条狗的女人 I'm not some crazy dog-lady with 12,000 dogs.
- 没错 - 我对刚才感到很抱歉 - That's why. - And I'm sorry about before.
我不是有意偷听的 I didn't mean to be eavesdropping.
哦，你是对的，你不应该那样 Well, you're right. You shouldn't have.
你应该呆在那和我聊天的 You should have stayed and talked to me.
你的女朋友好像很不高兴 Well, your girlfriend seemed pretty offended.
不，那个...那不是我的女朋友 Oh no, that's-- that's not my girlfriend.
我...我没有...我是单... I-I don't have a-- I'm sing--
我没有女朋友 I don't have a girlfriend.
怎么了？ What?
没事 Nothing.
没事，哦，我是查理 夏洛特，不过都叫我查理. Nothing. Um, I'm Charlie. Charlotte, but Charlie.
哦，我是...我是凯文. Well, I'm-- I'm Kevin.
- 很高兴见到你 - 我也是 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.
啊哦 Uh-oh.
怎么了？“啊哦”是什么意思？ What? What does "uh-oh" mean?
菲奥纳，好像有人要侵占你的领地了 It looks like someone else is mowing your lawn, Fiona.
我打算去丢掉这些 I'm gonna go destroy these.
对不起，回头见 Excuse me. I'll see you guys.
哦，我的鞋子真是要命 Oh, my shoes are killing me
不过这说明它们一定看起来很漂亮 which means they must look fabulous.
要点什么吗？ Can I get you anything?
坐在那边其中的一个 One of him on a platter.
真是浪费 Such a waste.
浪费什么？ What's a waste?
哦，你不知道？ Oh, you didn't know?
凯文是同性恋 Kevin's gay.
- 什么？ - 是的 - What? - Yeah.
那是吉特，新郎 That's Kit, the groom.
也许是新娘，我记不得了 Or maybe he's the bride. I can't remember
记不得哪个在上面，哪个在下面了 which one's the top and which one's the bottom.
他们明年圣诞节在毛伊岛结婚 Yeah, they're getting married next Christmas in Maui.
我怎么看不出来 I didn't get that vibe.
相信我 Trust me.
谢谢 Thanks.
看看那个家伙的胳膊 Look at that dude's arms!
我过去也常常有这样的同性恋举动 I used to have such good gaydar.
哦，你回来了，太好了. Oh, you're home. Thank God.
- 我累坏了 - 你今天干什么了？ - I'm exhausted. - What did you do today?
- 嗨，我是查理，请留言 - 我去邮局了 - Hi, it's Charlie. Leave a message. - Went to the post office.
嗨，查理. Uh, hi, Charlie.
- 我是凯文·菲尔德 - 是他 - This is Kevin Fields. - That's him.
我不知道你是不是记得我 那天晚上在一个派对上 I don't know if you remember me from the party the other night,
我打电话，是想看看，啊 but I was just calling, uh, to see if, um,
也许...也许你愿意遛我的狗 maybe... maybe you wanted to walk my dog.
什么？不 What? No!
把电话挂了 Hang up the phone.
不，实际上，你办不到 因为我没有养狗 No, actually, you can't, because I don't have a dog.
那么，也许你可以遛我 So maybe you could walk me.
挂掉它 Hang it up.
好吧，你知道，我...我得走了 All right, you know, I'm-I'm gonna go now.
给我打电话，号码是555-0118 然后找菲尔德医生 Call me at 555-0118 and ask for Dr. Fields.
谢谢，再见 Okay, thanks. Bye.
哦，天哪，这...这太糟了 Oh man, that was-- that was horrible.
我才不会那么紧张地等着回话呢 Yeah, I wouldn't hold your breath for a callback on that.
是啊，如果她愿意遛一个傻瓜的话 她才会回电话 Yeah, she'll call me back if she wants to walk an idiot.
是啊，这点我不打算反对你 Yeah, I'm not going to disagree with you.
那么是回电话 还是去翻冰箱有什么吃的？ So takeout or raid your fridge?
我们走了 Here we go.
莉莉，放松点 Take it easy, Lilly.
别着急 Easy.
嗨 Hi.
你从来没有给我回电话 所以我想给你带一杯咖啡 You never called me back so I figured I would bring the coffee to you.
谢谢 Thanks.
你看，我认为你真的是个不错的人 Um, look, I think you're a really nice guy and everything,
不过我不知道为什么你给我打电话 but I don't know why you called me.
- 啊？ - 我是个女人 - Hmm? - I'm a woman.
是啊，我喜欢这个事实 Yeah, I love that fact.
你和女人相处过吗？ Have you ever been with a woman?
什么？ Excuse me?
我是说，你曾经和男人相处过吗？ I mean, have you only ever been with men?
男人？你说什么呢... Men? What are you talking--
喔，喔，喔，等等，我不是同性恋 whoa whoa whoa. Wait a minute, I'm not gay.
- 你不是？ - 不 - You're not? - No.
不是，我喜欢女人，很多...不，不是很多女人 No, I like women. Lots of-- no, not lots of women,
你知道我的意思 but you know what I mean.
你怎么会认为我是同性恋呢？ Why did you think I was gay?
难说 Awkward.
好吧，我得走了 Okay, I got to go now.
等等，等等 Wait wait. Wait wait wait.
好吧，我会向你证明我不是同性恋 Okay, I'll prove to you that I'm not gay.
让我礼拜五晚上带你出去 我们去看比赛 Let me take you out on Friday night. We'll watch the playoffs,
我会订一个比萨饼 我会彻底地驳倒你 I'll order a pizza, I'll completely ignore you.
给我一个充分的理由 Give me one good reason.
因为我与众不同 'Cause I'm different.
真的？ Really?
好吧，我的眼睛是什么颜色的？ Okay, what color are my eyes?
哦，第一眼看见的时候，你的眼睛是棕色的 Well, at first glance, your eyes are brown.
可是当光线照到它们的时候 就变成了琥珀色的 But when the light hits them they change to amber.
而如果你真的很近地看眼睛的虹膜 那种颜色是完美的甜蜜 And if you look really closely around the iris the color is pure honey.
但当你看着太阳的时候 But when you look into the sun
它们看起来几乎是绿色的 they almost look green.
那是我最爱的颜色 That's my favorite.
怎么样？ How did I do?
棕色我已经很满足了 I would've settled for brown.
- 好吧 - 花生，放开他 - Okay! - Peanut, let go!
放开！放开！ Off! Off!
真抱歉它咬了你 I'm sorry he bit you.
我是说，它们都有打过针 因此会没事的 I mean, they all have their shots so it should be fine.
说真的，不要担心 只是破了一点皮 Seriously, don't worry about it. It barely broke the skin.
- 出去 - 你刚搬进来吗？ - Outside. - Did you just move in or something?
不，我已经搬进来一年半了 No, I've been here a year and a half.
哦，地方不错 Oh, nice place.
我在什么地方应该有氧化气氢 I should have some hydrogen peroxide around here somewhere.
这是什么？ What is all this stuff?
哦，我是一个瑜珈教师 Oh, I'm a yoga instructor.
- 这个呢？ - 一个小团体的教练 - This? - And a Little League coach.
一个遛狗的，还是一个承办宴会的 And a dog walker and a caterer.
我告诉过你我是个临时雇员 I told you I'm a temp.
那不是真的 她是一个不可思议的天才艺术家 That is not true. She is an incredibly talented artist.
- 雷米! 雷米! - 我是说，看看她的素描本 - Remy! Remy! - I mean, look at her sketchbook.
- 她就藏在那儿下面 - 雷米! - She hides it right under there. - Remy!
什么？ What?
他不是... He's not...
- 没事吧？ - 是的，谢谢 - Are you all right? - Yeah. Yeah, thank you.
找到了 Found it!
你还是一个艺术家？ So you're an artist, too?
我喜欢尝试很多不同的东西 Uh, I like to dabble in a lot of different things.
我是说，人生短暂 一天不可能过两次，对吗？ I mean, life's too short to live the same day twice, right?
是的，这可是个很好的人生哲学 Yeah. That's a good philosophy to live by.
我爸爸过去常常这么说，来吧 My dad always used to say that. Come on.
- 过去？ - 哦，是的 - Used to? - Oh, yeah,
- 我很小的时候父母就过世了 - 哦，对不起 - my parents died when I was little. - Oh, I'm sorry.
没事，那真的是很久以前了 That's okay. It was a really long time ago.
- 准备好了？ - 是的，我是说 - You ready? - Yeah-- I mean,
有点尴尬，我可是个医生 it's a little embarrassing. I'm the doctor.
我应该是那个...啊！哦！ I'm the one who's supposed to look at the-- ah! Ow!
- 天哪，对不起 - 我只是开个玩笑 - Oh my God. I'm sorry! - I'm just kidding.
我以前从没这样干过 I never get to do that.
是啊，因为离伤口还有3英寸远呢 Okay, because the cut is, like, three inches higher.
对不起 Sorry.
- 需要电话吗？ - 不用，谢谢 - Do you need my phone? - Oh, no thanks.
是我妈妈而已 这只是她今天的第二次传呼 It's just my mom. And it's only her second page of the day.
她刚刚开始 She's just getting started.
- 好了 - 谢谢 - Well, you're all set. - Thank you.
你认为，呃... So, do you think, uh...
没有被狗咬的时候 我们可以找个时间再见面？ we could do this again sometime, maybe without the biting?
很好啊 Yeah, that would be nice.
- 有凯文的消息了吗？ - 还没有，我已经传呼他了 - Heard from Kevin yet? - Not yet. I've paged him.
再传呼他一次好吗？ Would you page him again?
- 早上好 - 早上好 - Good morning, Stan. - Good morning.
- 你的心情真不错 - 上次广播公司的总经理 - You're in a good mood. - The last time the network executives
来到我的化妆间 我得到了自己的节目还有丰厚的加薪 came to my dressing room I got my own show and a big fat raise.
- 是啊，我不得不开始拍你的马屁... - 维奥拉·菲尔德？哦，天哪 - Yeah and I had to start kissing your-- - Viola Fields? Oh my God!
见到你太荣幸了 It is such an honor to meet you.
谢谢 Oh thank you, darling.
帮我在照片上签个名好吗？ Would you mind just signing this autograph?
是给我的祖母的 For my grandmother.
我很乐意 I'd love to.
你知道我还喜欢什么吗？ You know what else I'd love?
我希望你给我泡一杯奶香咖啡，不介意吧？ I'd love you to get me a latte. Do you mind?
- 好吧 - 谢谢 - Okay. - Thanks, hon.
嗨，各位，还好吗？ Hi, guys. How are you?
那个女人是一个传奇人物 That woman is a legend.
你是不是应该去泡咖啡了？ Shouldn't you be getting the latte?
我真的不敢相信 他们选了我来接替她 I just can't believe they picked me to replace her.
哦，糟了 Oh, shit!
我...我被换掉了？ I-I've been replaced?
很抱歉，维奥拉. I'm so sorry, Viola.
嘘！我没事 Psst! I'm fine.
你有过很了不起的事业，维奥拉. I mean, you've had an amazing career, Viola.
我们只是想吸引一些更年轻的观众 It's just that we're trying to appeal to a younger demographic.
我没事 I'm fine.
见鬼！找我的经理来听电话 God damn! Get my manager on the phone!
我要打电话给... And then I'm gonna call the head of the--
我们两分钟后出发 Uh, we're on in two minutes.
- 好的 - 请你能把她弄过来好吗？ - Okay. - Will you get her to come?
- 求求你 - 没问题，她会准备好的 - Please! - Okay, she'll be ready.
我准备好了 I'm ready.
∮...Iove got jeans and a tee ∮
∮ Am I kinky or sweet? ∮
- ∮ Take a look inside my makeup bag ∮ - ∮ Ooh ∮
∮ If you wanna love me ∮
∮ How good or bad I can be... ∮
- 还好吗？ - 非常好 - Are you okay? - I'm great.
我有过辉煌的过去 Hey, I've had a great run.
我做过很多人的独家专访 包括国务卿基辛格，达赖喇嘛 I've done exclusives with Kissinger, the Dalai Lama,
穆罕默德·阿里... Muhammad Ali...
4届总统之中... four sitting presidents--
3个对我都留下很深印象 three of them hit on me.
5次艾美奖 Five Emmys!
而现在被一个年轻的玩意给换掉了 Now I'm being replaced by a young thing
她的祖母还喜欢我 whose grandmother loves me.
你知道我准备怎么办吗？ You know what I'm gonna do?
我会终结我的合同 I'm gonna finish out my contract
我还会带着我的尊严离开这个节目 and I'm gonna leave this show with my dignity intact.
好吧，从广告切换回来 Okay, coming back from commercial.
3号位，字幕提示员准备 Three, cue announcer.
这是今天的“公众关系”节目 Today on "Public lntimacy,"
流行歌手塔尼娅·墨菲 pop singing sensation Tanya Murphy.
现在是维奥拉·菲尔德的现场直播访问 And now we're live with Viola Fields.
4，3，2... Four, three, two...
哦，非常好 Well, that was very nice.
天哪，这么小的一个女孩声音这么大 My goodness, you have a big voice for such a tiny girl.
你们会想念维奥拉·菲尔德的 You're gonna miss Viola Fields.
你一直是个歌手吗？ Have you always been a singer?
我从儿时就开始唱歌了 Ever since I was a child.
我会在学校比赛，唱诗班里面唱歌 I would sing in school plays, choirs.
- 你多大了？ - 下个月就17岁了 - How old are you? - I'll be 17 next month.
你...你平时都有什么娱乐？ W-what do you do for fun?
我喜欢看些真正的老片 I love watching really old movies.
- 我非常喜欢 - 真的吗？是哪些？ - They're my favorite. - Really? Really, which ones?
哦，“贿赂”，还有“贿赂2” Well, "Grease" and "Grease ll."
“本吉”，我喜欢“本吉” Um, "Benji." I love "Benji."
“自由之心”，呃... "Free Willy," um...
“合法的女人” "Legally Blonde,"
“小小美人鱼” "The Little Mermaid."
- 哦 - 是啊...我知道了 - Oh. - Yeah-- oh, I know.
你读过报纸吗？ You ever read a newspaper?
报纸？ Newspaper?
维奥拉，这女孩的乳头上还贴着星星呢 Viola, the girl has stars on her nipples.
我没有时间干这个 I don't have much time for that.
这么说，基本上，你根本 对这个世界发生了什么事都不知道？ So basically, you have absolutely no idea what's going on in the world?
- 哦，我... - 就算这样，你还是销售了 - Oh, l-- - And yet, you've sold
超过5百万张唱片...CD 给无数的孩子们 over five million albums-- CDs, to millions of kids
- 听着你这些乏味的歌词 - 她在干嘛？ - who listen to your insipid lyrics. - What is she doing?
“你想要了解我的话 就看看我的化妆包” "You want to know me, look in my makeup bag."
你在影响整整一代的孩子们 You're influencing an entire generation of kids
他们不知道如何独立思考 who won't know how to think straight,
不知道投票给哪个总统 or vote for a president,
不知道“罗诉韦德案”的重要性 （“罗诉韦德案”：一个关于堕胎的决议） or remember the significance of Roe versus Wade.
哦！我不支持拳击运动 Oh! I don't support boxing as a sport.
我认为它太暴力了 I think it's too violent.
你们得赶快把这个小女孩弄出来 Y'all better get that little girl out of there.
- 天哪 - 停止直播 - Holy crap! - Get us off the air!
- 快 - 转广告！转广告！ - Quick! - Go to commercial! Go to commercial!
疯婊子！放开我！ Crazy bitch! Get off me!
- 停！停！放别的带子 - 把她弄下来 - Cut! Cut! Put in the Bow Flex tape! - Get her off!
放“高利贷者”，随便什么 Juice Man, something!
“哦！我不支持拳击运动” Oh, I don't support boxing as a sport.
“我认为它太暴力了” I think it's too violent.
哦 Oh.
我希望你再最后看一眼过去的维奥拉 I wanted you to take one last look at the old Viola.
哦，感谢上帝 我已经改变了 Oh, thank God I've changed.
是的 Yes.
哦，不过记住 Well, just remember
你的问题只是几个月之前的 the breakdown was only a few months ago
所以要小心，处事不要太着急 so take it nice and slow out there.
不要逼迫自己 No stress.
绝对不会 Absolutely.
事实上，我准备去度假 In fact, I'm going to take a vacation.
我就一直答应我的儿子去非洲 I've been promising my son we'd go to Africa
从他是个小孩子开始 since he was a little boy.
我终于有时间了 And I finally have the time.
很好 That's wonderful.
别担心 Not to worry,
我完全能控制自己 I'm in complete control.
鲁比！ 鲁比 我亲爱的老朋友 Ruby! Ruby, my dear old friend.
哦，很高兴看到你 Oh, I'm so happy to see you.
哦，很好，他们还在给你吃药 Well, good, they still have you medicated.
鲁比，我想清楚了 Ruby, I figured it out.
- 生活，我是说 - 哦，她应该是好了 - Life, I mean. - Oh, this ought to be good.
它与我和多少个名人见过面 或者是我的地位有多高，都没有关系 It's not about how many celebrities I interview or what my ratings are.
- 而是和家庭有关 - 哦 - It's about relationships and family. - Oh!
我和我的儿子 Me and my son.
我刚刚和凯文谈过 Oh, I just spoke to Kevin.
- 你拿到票了吗？ - 当然，就在这 - Did you get the tickets? - Sure did. Right here.
他一定会很惊讶 He's going to be so surprised.
是啊，你们三个将会过得很开心 Yeah, the three of you should have a good time.
- 三个？ - 是啊，你，凯文 - Three? - Yeah, uh, you, Kevin
- 还有他的新女朋友 - 新女朋友？ - and his new girlfriend. - New girlfriend?
真是个可爱的意外 That's a lovely surprise.
真的？ Is it?
哦，我是说，他们不可能太认真 Well, I mean, it can't be too serious.
我只不过离开了几个月而已 I've only been away a few months.
哦，好了 Well, that's the end of it.
你打算让我把这个放哪里？ Where do you want me to put this?
放在床底下 Oh, under the bed.
你确定不需要放在门口 Uh, you sure you don't want me to put it by the door so you can
这样你有问题的时候 可以飞快地逃离这个地方？ make a quick escape to the apartment you still have for some reason?
好了，你答应要我转租我的房子 Now come on. You agreed to me subletting my apartment.
为了让你搬进来，我会同意任何事情 I would have agreed to anything to get you to move in here.
哦，真不错，是新的吗？ Oh, these are great. Are they new?
哦，不！你不能看 Oh, no! You can't look at those!
- 因为它们还没有完成 - 哦，对不起 - 'Cause they're not finished yet. - Oh, sorry.
- 好吗？求求你？ - 好的 - Okay? Please? - Okay.
给我，我放回去 Here, I'll put them back.
我忘了告诉你 我们明天和我妈妈一起吃饭 I forgot to tell you, we're having lunch with my mom tomorrow.
哦 Oh!
没事的，我保证 It'll be fine. I promise.
你想洗个澡吗？ You want to take a shower?
哦 Hmm.
好吧！ Yeah! Okay!
∮ It's just a ride, it's just a ride ∮
∮ No need to run, no need to hide ∮
∮ lt'll take you round and round. ∮
好吧，跟我说说你爸爸 All right, so tell me about your dad.
我两岁的时候他就过世了 Well, he died when I was two.
不过那只是她的第一任丈夫 But that was just her first husband.
那时候她是个自由职业的记者 At the time she was a freelance journalist
然后她和一个广播公司的总经理结婚了 and then she married this guy who was a network exec
并得到了她的第一份直播的事业 and got her her first on-air break,
但因为亚力克·瑞格理离了婚 but divorced him for Alec Wrigley.
等等，是那个男演员吗？我以为他是... Wait, the actor? I thought he was--
哦，曾经是，他们交往了两年 Oh, he was. It lasted about two years
直到她遇到她的第二任丈夫 till she threw him out for sleeping with her second husband.
等等，她到底结了几次婚？ Wait, how many times has she been married?
- 四次 - 喔 - Well, four. - Wow.
不过，你知道，她的事业一直是她最关心的事情 But, you know, her career was always the main thing.
她为了它而活着 哦，当然，应该是事业和我 She just lived for it. Well, her career and me, of course.
基本上，现在我是她拥有的全部 And, basically, now I'm all she's got.
我们到了 Here we are.
哦，不 Oh, no.
哦，玩盛装，对吗？ Oh, playing dress-up, are we?
- 闭嘴，那是达赖喇嘛吗？ - 是的 - Shut up. Is that the Dalai Lama? - Yeah.
- 哦，天哪，这不可能是真的 - 是真的 - Oh my God, That can't be real. - It is.
你认识所有这些人吗？ Did you know all these people?
- 其中的一部分 - 凯文 - Some of them. - Kevin!
- 看看你，越来越帅了 - 鲁比! - Look at you, all handsome. - Ruby!
很高兴见到你 Good to see you.
我也是 Yeah, you too.
现在，先忘了我的妈妈 Now, forget about my mother.
这是你需要先过关的女人 查理，这位是鲁比. This is the woman you need to get through. Charlie, this is Ruby.
- 很高兴见到你 - 我也是 - Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. - Oh, the pleasure's mine.
哦，对不起 我得和他说点事 Uh, excuse us. I've got to talk to him about a rash.
你在这个时候带个女孩回家见你妈妈？ You're bringing a girl home to meet your mother now?
是啊，鲁比，没错 Yeah, Ruby, I am.
她刚刚从精神病院出来 The women is fresh off the funny farm.
我是说，你们干嘛不在，比如说... 明天春天的时候回来？ I mean, why don't you come back, let's say... next spring?
哦，那时春暖花开 Oh, the trees will be blooming.
- 一切都那么美，她会喜欢的 - 她还好吗？ - lt'll be so beautiful. She'll love it. - How is she?
她很好，她回家做的第一件事 She's good. The first thing she did
让我把所有酒都锁上了 when she got home was make me lock up all the booze.
是欧普拉！ （美国脱口秀女王） It's Oprah!
欧普拉 Oprah!
是的，欧普拉 Yeah, Oprah.
那里还有一张和“好时光”演员的合照 There's one in there with the cast from "Good Times" too.
这个地方到底有多大？ So how big is this place?
大概4英亩，有一个网球场 About four acres. There's a tennis court,
两个游泳池，室内和室外的 是有点夸张 two swimming pools, indoor and outdoor-- it's kind of crazy.
什么？没有直升机停机坪？ What? No helicopter pad?
哦，不，后面有一个 Oh, no. There's one out back.
开玩笑的 I'm kidding.
凯文 Kevin!
哦，我多想念你啊 Oh, I've missed you so much!
我保证再也不会让你离开我了 I promise I'll never leave you again.
哦天哪，妈妈，瞧你 你看起来漂亮极了 Oh my God, Mom. Look at you. You look fantastic.
- 我只是随便找了些东西穿上 - 过来 - It's just something I threw together. - Come here.
- 什么？ - 我想给你介绍一个人 - What? - I want to introduce you to someone.
- 查理，我妈妈 - 凯文 - Charlie. Mom. - Kevin.
查理，这是我妈妈 Charlie, this is Mom.
我妈，查理. Mom, Charlie.
哦，嗨 Oh, hi.
哦，我一直想这么做，现在我做到了 Oh, I'd love to just be able to think of it and make it.
我过去的30年中 I must have spent the last 30 years
都在寻找那种完美的小黑... Iooking for the perfect little black--
- 短裙 - ...短裙，没错 - Cocktail dress. -...cocktail dress. Yes.
我知道 I know.
哦，没关系的 你的体形可以穿任何衣服 Well, it doesn't matter. You could wear anything with your figure.
- 我是说，你看起来真漂亮 - 谢谢 - I mean, you look amazing. - Oh, honey, thanks.
听着，你到了我这个年纪 如果身体还没有坏掉，趁早把它修理好 Listen, when you're my age, if ain't broke, you fix it before it is.
为什么是个问号的形状？ Why the question mark?
哦，因为“我不知道” Oh, 'cause I just don't know.
我喜欢你的首饰 I love your jewelry.
- 哦，是吗，谢谢 - 我喜欢那个 - Oh, yes. Yes, thank you. - I love that.
- 我喜欢它...是石头 - 真漂亮 - I like it-- the earth tones. - It's fantastic.
- 是从哪得到的？ - 我的第一任丈夫 - Where did you get this from? - My first husband.
也是凯文的爸爸 我们在秘鲁的时候他给我的 That's Kevin's father. He gave it to me when we were in Peru.
- 非常简朴 - 就像这套衣服一样 - It's very earthy. - It's like the dress,
非常简朴 very earthy.
我认为非常了不起 你尝试了这么多的临时职业 I just think it's wonderful that you've tried so many temp jobs.
想想你有那么多的经验 Think of all the experiences you have.
凯文，你太安静了 You've been so quiet, Kevin.
哦，很难在你们两个中间插嘴 Oh, well, it's kind of hard to get a word in edgewise with you two.
他很棒吗？ Oh, is he great, or what?
我告诉你，是有点让人害怕 I tell you too, that's a little scary.
趁你还行的时候好好享受 Enjoy it while you can.
再给你一点咖啡 Here you go, some more coffee.
事实上，我对你们两个见面有点紧张 Actually, I was a little nervous about the two of you meeting.
- 真的？ - 为什么？ - Really? - Why?
因为对我来说很重要 Well, 'cause it's important to me.
妈，你是我认识的最让人吃惊的女人 Mom, you're the most amazing woman I've ever known.
而你，查理，我从来没有见过像你这样的人 And, Charlie, I've never met anyone like you.
你真诚，你纯朴 You're real, you're honest.
尽管我们才认识了几个月 And although we've only known each other a few months,
我...我觉得我认识你很久 I-I feel like I've known you forever.
我觉得，我想说的是... I guess what I'm trying to say here...
你的后半辈子打算怎么办？ is what are you doing for the rest of your life?
什么？ What?
哦天哪 Oh my God!
查理，你愿意嫁给我吗？ Charlie, will you marry me?
这...这太突然了 It's... it's too sudden.
- 她都吓坏了 - 不 - She's in shock. - No!
- 我是说，我是有点，不过... - 是的 - I mean, I am, but... - Yes!
你是认真的？ Seriously?
认真的 Seriously.
不，不，说“不” No no. Say "no."
是的，我愿意 Yes. Yes!
太好了 Yeah!
哦，天...哦 Oh, gee-- oh!
我真为你高兴 Oh, I'm so happy for you.
- 祝贺你们 - 天哪，真不敢相信 - Congratulations! - Oh my God. I can't believe this.
我真为你高兴 I am so happy for you.
祝贺你们！我真高兴 Congratulations! I'm so pleased
你将要成为我的儿媳妇 that you're going to be my daughter-in-law.
哦，祝贺 Oh, congratulations.
- 真不敢相信 - 我真为你高兴 - I can't believe this. - I'm so happy for you.
- 谢谢 - 你们需要一点时间独处 - Thank you! - You're going to need a moment alone.
- 失陪了，我马上回来 - 好的 - Excuse me, I'll be right back. - Okay.
哦 Oh!
糟了 Shit!
药 Medicine.
我看看 Let's see.
不 No.
在哪...啊！ What's-- ah!
14%的酒精 14% alcohol!
- 你太疯狂了，天哪 - 我差点忘了 - You are so crazy! Oh my God! - I almost forgot.
我带着这个两个礼拜了 一直在等一个最完美的时刻 I've been carrying this around for two weeks waiting for the perfect moment.
真不敢相信终于找到了 I can't believe this turned out to be it.
- 凯文 - 带上它 - Kevin. - Try it on.
现在是最完美的时刻 It is the perfect moment.
也许你应该去看看你的妈妈 Maybe you should go check on your mom.
她没事的，她也许在给所有亲戚打电话 Oh, she's fine. She's probably calling all of our relatives.
圣灵啊... Oh, Holy Spirit...
用光环绕着我 surround me with light.
去掉那些消极的因缘 Please rid me of my negative karma
去掉我的邪恶 and my wickedness.
请帮助我成为一个更好的人 Please help me be a better person.
我还是忍不住要杀了那个遛狗的荡妇！ I could just kill that dog-walking slut!
对了 Of course.
她肯定是怀孕了 She's pregnant.
哦，天哪 喝茶的时候有很多事情要谈了 So, goodness. That was a lot to take in at teatime.
- 你来说吧 - 我不知道 - Oh, you're telling me. - I had no idea
你们那么认真 that you guys were so serious.
凯文，你从来没有提过任何事情 Kevin, you never mentioned anything.
- 妈 - 我想要说的是 - Mom. - Here's what I want to say.
相爱是非常棒的 It's wonderful being in love.
但我不认为婚姻 是解决这种事情的最好办法 But I don't think marriage is the best solution to a thing like this.
你知道现在的女孩有很多选择 Well, you know nowadays a girl has so many alternatives
结婚了...还有领养，堕胎 to getting married-- there's adoption, abortion,
- 同性恋了...啊？ - 喔，妈 - lesbianism-- Hmm? - Whoa, Mom!
- 你在说什么？ - 我是说，太突然了 - What are you talking about? - Well, I mean, it's so sudden
我不得不假设有什么别的原因 I have to assume there's a pressing reason.
哦，不 Oh oh, no.
查理没有怀孕 Charlie's not pregnant.
叫我思想老旧好了 Call me old-fashioned,
婚姻是一种神圣的结合 marriage is a sacred union
必须非常非常谨慎 that should only be entered into with the utmost care.
难道你不是结了四次婚？ Weren't you married four times?
是的，亲爱的 Yes, dear.
你是不是认为，那让我成为了一个专家？ Which would make me an expert, don't you think?
对不起 Excuse me.
是医院的事，我马上回来 It's the hospital. I'll be right back.
好吧 Okay.
需要我和你一起去吗？ You want me to go with you?
不用，你呆在这里 No, stay right there.
你知道，对我来说，和你一样，也很突然 You know, this is as sudden for me as it is for you.
太突然了，对吗？ It's too sudden, right?
你这样认为？ You think?
是的 Yeah.
真的？ Really?
我是说，为什么这么着急？ 现在和以前不同了 I mean, what's the rush? It's not like the old days
那时候你必须结婚生子 where you had to get married and have kids,
而且必须在21岁之前办到 and have it all figured out by the time you were 21.
- 一点没错 - 现在我们有了选择 - Exactly. - We have options now.
我一直都喜欢有自己的选择，你知道吗？ And I've always liked having my options, you know?
哦，没错 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
这件事...太重要了 This is so... big.
我在...我到底在干什么？ What am l-- what am I doing?
我爱凯文. I love Kevin.
我想和他共度余生 I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
天哪，我要结婚了 Oh my God! I'm getting married!
鲁比! Ruby!
鲁比，我需要一瓶香槟 我们要准备庆祝了 Ruby, I need a bottle of champagne. We're going to celebrate.
把酒橱的钥匙给我好吗？ May I have the key to the liquor cabinet please?
什么钥匙？ What key?
那把钥匙 The key, Ruby.
钥匙？没有什么钥匙 Key? There's no key.
鲁比，把钥匙给我 Ruby, give me the key.
你想到外面去说吗？ You want to take this outside?
把钥匙给我 Bring me the key.
整理一下你的头发 And fix your hair.
你看起来像个见鬼的鹦鹉 You look like a damned cockatoo.
她真是个难于置信的助理 She is such a fabulous assistant.
你认为你妈妈喜欢我吗？ Hey, do you think your mother liked me?
当然，为什么这么问？ Of course. Why?
不知道，也许是因为她叫我“怀孕的女同性恋”？ I don't know, because she called me a pregnant lesbian?
我肯定她说这话是为了恭维你 I'm sure she meant that as a compliment.
相信我，她喜欢你 Trust me. She loved you.
他们走了？ Oh, they're gone?
我把这个宝贝放回床上去，好吗？ I'll just put this baby back to bed, okay?
我儿子，一个聪明的外科医生 My son the brilliant surgeon
将要和一个临时工结婚 is gonna marry a temp.
我需要比这个劲更足的 Gonna need something stronger than this.
马丁尼酒在哪？ Where's that martini?
烈酒不会解决你的问题的 Hooch will not solve your problems.
她会毁了他的 She's going to destroy him.
事情太明显了 It is so clear.
她没有钱，事业没有目标 She's got no money, no career goals.
她只是在等一个有钱的无知的人 She was just waiting for a rich innocent
正中她的计谋 to step right in her path.
凯文比这聪明多了 Oh, Kevin's smarter than that.
好了，是你抚养他长大的 Come on, you raised him well.
他是个好孩子 He's a good boy.
但他是个男人，这就是问题所在 But he's a man. That's the problem.
他们唯一头脑清醒的时候 就是他们那里勃起的时候 The only time they think straight is when they have an erection,
而且通常是碰上那种 最放荡的女人 and it's usually pointed right at the trampiest woman.
你说是他还是你？ You talking about her or you?
听着，你什么也做不了 Look, there's nothing you can do.
就让它去吧 Just let it go.
你知道你需要什么吗？ 一个新的事业计划 You know what you need? A project.
或者一个新的丈夫 Or another husband.
为什么不再找一个同性恋的结婚？ You know, why don't you marry another gay guy?
很有意思的 That was fun.
你说得对 You know, you're right.
我确实需要一个计划 I do need a project.
我有一个最好的计划 And I have the perfect one.
我将要拯救我的儿子 I am going to save my son.
这里 Here.
- 什么？ - 你去找那些以前的联系人 - What? - You go use those old contacts of yours
找到关于这个小荡妇的所有资料 to get all the information you can about that little pimp.
你到底想要找到什么？ And exactly what do you expect to find?
亲爱的，每个人都有过去 Everybody's got a past, honey.
去找出来 Find something.
我将要打开我的豪宅 And I'm going to open up the Montecito house
找一个派对策划人 and get a party planner.
我将要给他们办一个订婚派对 I'm going to give them an engagement party.
然后呢？把她锁在地下室？ And then what? Lock her in the basement?
当他看到她离他的世界有多远 When he sees how out of place she is in his world,
事情就结束了 it's gonna be over.
那会是个很伤心的结局 This will end badly.
再给我来一杯 Get me another one of those.
∮ Ooh-ohh ∮
∮ I just want to get down with you ∮
∮ Eh! ∮
∮ I just want to get close to you ∮
∮ Ooh-ohh ∮
∮ I just need to go farther... ∮
怎么每次你带我去的房子都比上次要大？ Is it me, or is each house you take me to bigger than the last?
我以为你妈妈说是一个烧烤野餐 But I thought your mom said this was a barbecue.
天哪，她好像请了所有我曾经认识的人 Oh my God. It looks like she's invited everyone I've ever known.
他们都西装笔挺的 And they're all in black tie.
那是我妈妈，妈！ Oh, there's my mom. Mom!
亲爱的，一路上还好吗？ Darlings! How was the trip?
- 欢迎 - 对不起 - Welcome. - I'm sorry.
- 我不知道这是个正式的派对 - 哦，是因为 - I didn't know this was a formal party. - Well, that's because
我有东西给你 我给你买了新衣服 I have something for you. I bought you a new dress.
看见了？楼上有衣服 Oh, see? There's a dress upstairs.
- 谢谢 - 还有，你穿什么都好看 - Thank you. - Besides, you look great in anything.
没错，你看起来总是那么利落和阳光 Exactly. You always look so clean and shiny.
凯文，你的西服在楼上你的房间里面 Oh, Kevin, your tuxedo is upstairs in your room.
不过首先我想你见见几个朋友，来 But first I want you to meet some friends. Come.
- 埃米尔王子 - 我可以先去换衣服吗？ - Prince Amir. - Can I change first?
- 这是莎拉，凯文. - 你认识凯文的 - This is Sarah. Kevin. - You know Kevin.
这位是查理，她是个临时工 And this is Charlie. She's a temp.
查理，这位是把欧元引入全球市场的人 Charlie, this is the man that introduced the euro to the global market.
- 总理先生 - 维奥拉 - Mr. Prime Minister. - Viola.
玛丽，你认识我儿子，不过这位是查理. Oh, Marie. You know my son, but this is Charlie.
- 很高兴见到你 - 很高兴见到你 - Very good to meet you. - So nice to meet you.
- 她是个临时工 - 没错 - She's a temp. - Yeah.
我曾经在银行工作过 I worked in a bank once.
瞧，那是最杰出诗人，还有... Oh, look! There's the Poet Laureate and--
查理，我想让你先见见财务大臣 oh, Charlie, first I want you to meet the Secretary of Commerce.
维奥拉，请让我先换衣服 Viola, please let me change first.
我不想穿成这样去见她 I don't want to meet her in my flip-flops.
当然，当然，鲁比 你带查理到客房去好吗？ Of course, of course. Ruby, would you show Charlie to the guest room?
- 走吧，查理. - 谢谢 - Come on, Charlie. - Thank you. Thank you.
喔 Wow!
哦，天... Oh my--
太漂亮了 it's vintage.
菲奥纳 Oh, Fiona.
- 你看起来漂亮极了 - 谢谢，你也是 - You look stunning. - Thank you. So do you.
天哪 My goodness.
凯文刚刚上去他以前的房间了 Kevin just went up to his old room.
- 你为什么不去向他打个招呼呢？ - 我很乐意 - Why don't you go say hello to him? - I'd love to.
好女孩 Good girl.
菲奥纳，你在这干嘛？我在穿衣服 Fiona, what are you doing here? I'm dressing.
为什么不让我来帮帮你呢？ Why don't you let me give you a hand with that?
算了吧，菲奥纳. Give it up, Fiona.
你知道，我们两个也曾经如胶似漆过 You know, you and I had a very strong bond once.
不，我们两个只是曾经烂醉过 No, you and I had very strong drinks once.
不对 That's not true.
吻我一下，我会让你想起那有多美好 Kiss me. I'll remind you how good it was.
你干什么？ What are you doing?
我订婚了，我很开心 I'm engaged. I'm happy.
会合身的 It's gonna fit!
为什么她要给我这么小的衣服？ Why did she get me such a small dress?
我看起来有两个屁股 I have two asses.
会合身的，好了 It'll fit. There we go.
好吧 Okay.
好吧，好吧 Okay! Okay!
她有什么，这么特别吗？ What is it about her that's so special?
不知道，不过我打算花上 我的下半辈子去找这个答案 I don't know but I plan on spending the rest of my life finding out.
凯文! Kevin!
天哪，恋爱中的男人真的是很性感 God! Men in love are really hot.
菲奥纳! Fiona!
哦... Oops! Um...
我刚才只是给凯文一个祝福的吻 I was just giving Kevin a congratulatory kiss.
别，呃，担心 Don't, uh, worry.
我为什么要担心？他是个同性恋，对吗？ Why would I worry? He's gay, right?
查理! Charlie!
查理，事情不是看起来那样的 Charlie, that was not what it looked like.
我要回家 I'm going home.
我已经毁了一件很贵的衣服 I've destroyed priceless couture.
我在世界上70%的皇室面前丢了脸 I embarrassed myself in front of 70% of the world's royalty.
哦，差点忘了，没错 Oh! I forgot, yeah!
我刚刚碰到你 和你的前女友旧情复燃 I just caught you making out with your ex-girlfriend.
查理，你听我解释 Charlie, let me explain.
哦，已经没关系了 Ugh! It doesn't matter.
我受不了 I can't do this.
我不属于这里，凯文 I don't belong here, Kevin.
而如果我不属于这里的话 也许我们不应该... And if I don't belong here then maybe we don't--
嗨嗨嗨，听我说 Hey hey hey. Listen to me.
现在只有你和我 It's you and me now.
这里不再是属于我的世界了 This isn't my world anymore.
你就是我的世界 You're my world.
知道吗？ Okay?
让我们离开这个鬼地方 我带你回家 Now let's get the hell out of here. I'm taking you home.
好吧 Okay.
哦... Um...
先得让我试试脱掉这件衣服... Let me try and get out of this dress and then...
好吧，楼下见 Okay, see you downstairs.
∮ There's a million miles to go ∮
∮ Till our happiness lives ∮
∮ There's a million miles to go ∮
∮ Till our happiness lives. ∮
喜欢吗？ Do you like it?
当然，真漂亮 Yeah, it's great.
真高兴你终于觉得开始画了 I'm so glad you finally decided to do it.
不知道，我今天醒来，感觉就像在家里一样 I don't know. I just woke up today and it just felt like home.
我打算三面墙都画上 I'm gonna do all three walls.
你知道，我认为是时候休息一下了 You know, I think it's time to take a break.
哦，等等 Oh, wait!
- 等一会 - 喔 - Wait a minute. - Whoo whoo whoo!
我不能让它太干了 I can't let it dry too much.
天哪 Oh God!
我们今天起不起床，“卡米尔”？ Are we getting out of bed today, "Camille"?
起来干嘛？ What for?
就算我死了也不会有人关心的 I could die and nobody would care.
我会 I would.
你答应让我去做一次脱脂整容的 You promised me a face-lift.
鲁比，过来坐下 坐在我旁边，握着我的手 Sit down, Ruby. Sit with me, hold my hand.
找到那个女孩的什么资料了吗？ Have you got anything on the girl yet?
什么也找不到 Nothing. Nada.
没有犯罪记录，没有债务 No criminal record. No debt.
成绩很好，上过设计学校 然后是一长串零工 Good grades. Went to design school. And then a string of odd jobs.
难道不是每个人都有一个过去吗？ Isn't that exactly what somebody with a past does?
毒品呢？混乱的性关系呢？ What about drugs? What about promiscuity?
她这一辈子的情人 She's had fewer lovers in her entire life
比你在伍德斯托克音乐节 闭幕那天的情人还要少 than you did at closing day of Woodstock.
哦，那找些别的 Well, find something.
我猜如果我拿到她的头发样本 我可以找到些什么 Well, I guess if I had a hair sample maybe I could take it
- 拿到我的小小犯罪试验室里面，然后... - 太好了 - to my little crime lab and-- - Perfect.
我马上去办 I'll get to work on it.
听我说，什么都没有 Listen to me. There is nothing.
你没有碰见过这种情况吗， 也许她真的是一个好女孩？ Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she's a good girl?
哦，别开玩笑了 Oh, don't joke.
我打算和那个从疯人院回来 的女人说几句 I would like to speak to that woman who got back from the loony bin.
她住附近吗？ Is she around?
因为你在把我扯进一个疯狂的事件当中 Because you are taking me for a spin in the crazy mobile.
鲁比, 鲁比. Ruby, Ruby.
所有人都知道当一个女人和一个男人结婚时 Everybody knows that when a woman marries a man
她也嫁给了他的妈妈，对吗？ she marries his mother too, right?
如果我把她弄发疯了呢？ What if I drive her crazy?
好了，现在你开始口吐白沫了 Okay, now you're foaming at the mouth.
哦 Oh!
这里是查理和凯文的家 Charlie and Kevin's house.
哦，我忘记了你也住在那 Oh, I forgot you live there.
我忘了你已经搬进去了 I didn't realize that you had already moved in.
凯文，别动 我在和你妈妈通电话。对不起，维奥拉. Kevin, stop it. I'm on the phone with your mother! I'm sorry, Viola.
这个荡妇简直是在和他通奸！ The slut's practically fornicating with him!
- 别动 - 我不怪她 - Stop it! - I don't blame her.
这孩子的屁股很不错 That boy's a fine piece of ass.
等等，维奥拉 他在...别动，好了 Hold on, Viola. He's-- stop it! Right here.
实际上，查理 我打电话是因为 Actually, Charlie, the reason I'm calling
我想知道你下个礼拜是不是 有时间和我吃顿午饭 is I wondered if you'd like to have lunch next week.
- 真的？ - 礼拜二可以吗？ - Really? - How would Tuesday work for you?
可以，礼拜二很好 Yeah, Tuesday's perfect!
听着，维奥拉，我正在办着一件事 Listen, Viola, I'm kind of in the middle of something right now,
不过礼拜二没问题 um, but Tuesday's fine.
我也是 Yeah, me too.
- 有很多事情要干 - 再见 - Lots to do! - Okay, bye!
哦 Oh.
我去拿伏特加 I'll go get the vodka.
很高兴见到你 It's good to see you.
她来了 There she is.
夏洛特 Charlotte.
嗨，我打算要一份花园色拉 Hi. I'm going to have the garden salad
低热量的中国调味品 还有一杯低咖啡因的冰茶 and the low-cal Chinese dressing and a decaf iced tea.
- 小姐，你呢？ - 我只要一个... - And you, miss? - Oh, um, I'll just have a...
汉堡，薯条，还有苏打水 cheeseburger with fries and a soda.
- 好的 - 好 - All right. - Okay.
你还在继续让我惊讶 You continue to surprise me.
难道你不担心穿不下婚纱吗？ Aren't you worried about fitting in your wedding dress?
哦，我是说，我会做一件适合 我自己身材的衣服的 Well, I mean, I'm making the dress to fit my body,
而不是别的办法 not the other way around.
喔，我真希望我结婚的时候 像你这样有自信 Whoa. I wish I had been that confident when I got married.
我得告诉你一件事 你将拥有一个我从来没有过的 I'll tell you one thing you're gonna have that I never did,
一个盛大的婚礼 a stupendous wedding.
最重要的是我们必须马上订教堂 And it's important that we book the church right away.
我一直觉得凯文看起来象耶稣 I always thought that Kevin looked like Jesus
就在第二大街的大教堂 in the cathedral down on Second Street. Mmm.
实际上，我们想要... Actually, we were thinking of having...
一个与宗教无关的婚礼 a non-denominational service,
因为我更崇尚精神而不是信仰 being that I'm more spiritual than religious.
哦 Oh.
那去我家怎么样？ What about my place then?
这样的话，我们甚至不用订地方 That way we don't even need to book a location.
而且凯文在那出生在那长大 And Kevin was born there and grew up there.
那里对他意义太重大了 我来做所有的计划 Oh, it would mean so much to him. I'll plan it all.
我们将会有斯文桑斯在他们婚礼上 的那支非凡的乐队 We'll have that marvelous band that the Swansons' had at their wedding.
一个非常可爱的蛋糕 哦，亲爱的 And a divine cake. Oh, honey!
不，不，不 No no no! Tsk tsk tsk!
咬手指，这是种恶心的习惯 Chewing, it's a disgusting habit.
不要动，我要...要... Oh, hold still. I've gotta-- gotta--
- 那儿！抓到了 - 喔 - There! Got it! - Ow!
谢谢，呃... Thanks, um...
你认为粉红色怎么样？ What do you think about peach?
- 哦，对不起 - 怎么了？ - Oh, um, excuse me. - Yes?
可以再要一个没有坚果的色拉吗？ Can I get another salad without the nuts?
- 我对这个过敏 - 好的 - I have allergies. - Okay.
我对坚果，蛋还有贝类都过敏 I'm allergic to nuts, and eggs, and shellfish,
还有蓝莓，哦...还有大豆 and blueberries. Oh-- and soy.
真让人吃惊 你居然还能挺过来这么多年 It's amazing you've been able to nourish yourself all these years.
哦，对了，说到蛋糕 Oh, yeah! The cake!
我想用传统的香子兰 淋上草莓汁 I'm thinking traditional vanilla with strawberry drizzle.
你看，维奥拉，这一切我真的都处理好了 Look, Viola, I really do have all of this under control.
我替你做了这个 I made this for you.
是你们的婚礼计划书，粉红色的 It's your wedding planner book. Peach.
哦 Oh.
那是我和凯文的照片吗？ Is that a picture of me and Kevin?
哦，还有...是你的新妈妈送礼物的时候了 Oh, and-- present time from your new mama!
谢谢 Thanks.
喔 Wow!
真大！你都可以看到玫瑰上的刺了 It's big! You can see the thorns on the roses.
你结婚那天将会戴着它 就像我那样 You'll wear it on your wedding day, just like I did.
当然我结婚的时候还是个处女 Of course I was a virgin when I wed.
不过我们会假装你也是的 But we'll just pretend with you.
现在，关于婚礼... Now, about the wedding--
你们两个将坐着马车到达 the two of you are going to arrive in a horse and carriage.
驾车的大礼帽将和马鞍很配 And the driver's top-hat will match the horse's saddles,
还有系着缎带的鸽子 and the ribbons on the doves
在那一刻将会放飞 that will be released at the exact moment
在说“我愿意”的那一刻， 啊？ of "l do," hmm?
我一直和你的女傧相联系 And I've been in touch with your bridesmaids.
你怎么知道她们的名字？ How do you know their names?
哦，凯文告诉我的 我想到你们度蜜月的地方 Well, Kevin told me. And I think for the honeymoon
伦敦绝对是最适合你们的地方 St. Bart's is the absolute best place for you to go
- 因为凯文非常喜欢那里 - 嗨，等等 - 'cause Kevin adores it. - Hey, just hold on!
等一会，好吗？ Just wait a minute, okay?
不 No.
谢谢你，不过不行 Thank you, but no.
谢谢你，不过这一切都不行 Thank you, but no to everything.
马和马车不行 No to the horse and buggy.
大礼帽不行，鸽子和鹅不行 No to the top-hats, and to the doves and geese
任何其它你想在婚礼那天 使用的农场动物都不行 and any other farm animals you're thinking of using that day.
你对我们蜜月的计划更是绝对不行 And definitely no to you planning our honeymoon.
- 什么？ - 哦，不 - What? - Oh no.
我不行...哦 I can-- oh!
- 哦，哦 - 怎么了？ - Oh oh! - What's wrong?
- “哦，不”什么？ - 我的药，我的药 - "Oh no" what? - My pills, my pills!
好吧，我来帮你 Okay. Well, let me help you.
- 哦 - 维奥拉 - Oh! - Viola!
- 哦，不 - 等等，维奥拉! - Oh, no! - Wait, Viola!
维奥拉! Viola!
天哪，维奥拉，天哪 Oh my God, Viola. Oh my God!
- 给她一些空间 - 救命 - Give her some room. - Help!
- 给她透透气 - 天哪，她死了吗？ - Give her some air. - My God, is she dead?
- 没有 - 快救救她 - No! - Get her some help.
不会那么容易就死的 It couldn't be that easy.
她得的是焦虑症 She's had an anxiety attack,
感觉就像心脏病一样 which can feel like a heart attack.
她会没事的 She's gonna be okay.
但她绝对需要轻松的心情 不要给她压力 But she definitely needs to take it easy. No stress.
她说你对她大喊大叫 She said that you were yelling at her,
你拒绝她的礼物 还说不让她给我们的婚礼做计划 that you refused her gift and said she couldn't plan our wedding.
告诉我这不是真的 Tell me that's not true.
哦，从技术上讲... Well, technically...
是真的 yes.
不过，等等，我没有朝她大喊大叫 But, hold on. I didn't yell at her.
而且她不停地逼我，逼我，逼我 And she just kept pushing and pushing and pushing.
好吧，我承认我是有点崩溃了，不过... And, okay, I admit it. I snapped a little bit. But--
我该怎么办？ 她不愿意听到“不”的回答 What was I supposed to do? She wouldn't take no for an answer.
好了，你看，你知道 她刚刚经历了一段艰难的时光 Come on, look, you know what a hard time she's been having.
- 所有她有点难相处 - 难相处？ - So she's a little difficult. - Difficult?
一个两岁的孩子才是难相处 A two-year-old is difficult.
- 她就象...啊 - 好了，她孤单一个人 - She's like-- ah! - Come on, she's all alone.
我是她的所有...我们两个是她的所有 I'm all she's got-- we're all she's got.
好了 Come on.
对不起 Excuse me.
我是张伯伦医生 住院的精神病医生 I'm Dr. Chamberlain, the psychiatrist in residence.
- 你是菲尔德女士的儿子？ - 是的 - Are you Mrs. Fields's son? - Yes.
- 我们可以私下聊聊吗？ - 事实上，这位是我的未婚妻 - May we speak in private? - Actually, this is my fiancée.
我们可以在这里谈，她还好吗？ We can talk. Um, is she okay?
哦，我刚刚结束了和你妈妈 的面谈，我有些担心 Well, I just completed your mother's interview and I'm concerned.
她很可能正处于精神崩溃的边缘 It's possible that she's on the verge of a psychotic break.
我一个礼拜至少见她两次 I should probably see her at least twice a week, minimum.
还有，我开了些抗焦虑的药给她 Also, I prescribed her some anti-anxiety medication.
如果她开始觉得不舒服 这些药可以使她放松 If she starts to feel overwhelmed, they'll relax her.
她一个人住吗？ Does she live alone?
是的 Uh, yeah.
哦，我觉得最好的话 Well, I feel it would be best
她可以由亲戚朋友来照顾... if she were cared for by relatives--
我是说和她最亲近的人 people that are closest to her during this time.
直到我们确信她安全为止 Just until we're confident that she's out of danger.
好吧，谢谢你，医生 All right. Well, thank you, Doctor.
哦，天哪 Oh, God.
我还要去参加医学大会 I've got that medical conference.
我该怎么办？ What am I gonna do?
你知道吗？别... 别担心 You know what? Don't-- don't worry about it.
我会照顾她的 Um, I'll take care of her.
谢谢你 Thank you.
- 走吧 - 干嘛？ - Come on. - What?
- 别这样，跟我来 - 不不，医生说了不要给她压力 - No, come with me. - No no, the doctor said no stress.
- 查理，好了，已经够了 -凯文，我想呆在这里 - Charlie, come on. Enough already. - I'll stay here. Kevin!
走吧 Come on.
我真抱歉 I am so sorry.
不，妈妈，别这样，没事了，真的 No, Mom, don't be. It's okay, really.
查理？ Charlie?
我也很抱歉，维奥拉 I'm sorry too, Viola.
不，是我太咄咄逼人了 No, I was too pushy.
不 No.
你没有，你瞧，维奥拉... You weren't. Look, Viola...
如果你帮忙筹办婚礼我会很高兴的 I would love it if you would help me with the wedding.
好了，亲爱的，我... It's all right, sweetheart, l--
我真的认为我不胜任 I don't really think I'm up to it.
我的脑袋都快炸了 My nerves are shot.
妈... Mom--
妈，查理和我认为 你应该和我们住上一段时间 Mom, Charlie and I think you should live with us for a while,
直到你恢复好些了 until you feel better.
你们确定吗？ Are you sure?
哦 Oh!
哦，也许我不行 Oh, I can't possibly.
- 我不行了 - 妈，没事的，放松点 - I couldn't. - Mom, it's okay. Relax.
我也许办不到 I couldn't possibly.
除非我知道夏洛特已经原谅我了 Not unless I know Charlotte's forgiven me.
你会吗？ Will you?
我？ Me?
是的，我原谅你 Yeah, I forgive you.
这些放...随便吧 You just put those anywhere.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi! - Hi.
- 感觉好些了吗？ - 好多了，谢谢 - Are you feeling better? - I'm much better, thank you.
- 很好 - 亲爱的，我有点口渴 - Great. - Sweetheart, I'm kind of thirsty.
- 你可以...厨房是在那吗？ - 是的 - Would you-- is the kitchen over there? - Yeah, sure.
- 很好，再见 - 好的 - Great. Goodbye. - Okay.
- 嗨，查理 - 你也搬进来吗？ - Hey, Charlie. - Are you moving in, too?
不，我不喜欢这些邻居 No, I don't like the neighborhood.
听着，房间里面有武器吗？ Look, do you have any firearms in the house?
- 没有 - 也许你会需要一支的 - No. - You might want to get one.
你什么时候回来？ When will you be back?
我会尽快的，亲爱的，我保证 Soon as I can, honey. I promise.
你确定你会没事吗？ Are you sure you're gonna be okay?
是的，我是说，只有晚上，对吗？ Yeah. I mean, hey, it's only at night, right?
还有，她吃了医生给的药以后 And, I mean, she's gonna sleep most of the time
大部分时间都会睡觉，对吗？ with those pills the doctor gave her. Right?
你看，我知道我妈妈有些难对付 Look, I know my mom can be a little challenging.
因此如果你有任何问题，给我电话 So if you have any problems just call me.
我会搭第一趟班机回来，我保证 I'm on the first flight back, I promise.
好吧，早点回家 Okay. Well, hurry home.
谁知道呢？我回来的时候 And who knows? By the time I get back,
也许你们两个已经成为好朋友了 maybe you two will be best friends.
哦，我妨碍什么了吗？ Oh, am I interrupting something?
- 没有，妈妈，进来吧 - 承办宴会的人打电话了 - Uh, no, Mom, come in. - The caterer called.
他还以为我还在办婚礼 He still thinks I'm doing the wedding.
他发了一个盘子的样本 因为我给了他你喜欢的颜色 He sent over a sample plate 'cause I gave him the colors you wanted.
我说过了，绝对不要粉红色 I said absolutely no peach.
从现在开始，所有事情 都要经过我的新女儿的批准 And from now on, everything goes through my new daughter.
- 谢谢 - 是吗？ - Thank you. - Yeah?
好的，我马上下去，谢谢 Okay, I'll be right down, thanks.
- 哦，瞧 - 真漂亮，维奥拉 - Oh, here. Look. - Oh, it's beautiful, Viola.
- 谢谢 - 我很高兴你喜欢它 - Thank you. - Oh, I'm glad you like it.
- 谢谢 - 我的车来了，得走了 - Thanks. - My car's here. Gotta go.
- 再见，妈妈 - 好的 - Bye, Mom. Bye, Mom. - Okay.
再见，亲爱的，会很有意思的 Oh, bye, sweetie. Oh, it's gonna be fun.
- 我们将会度过一段美好的时光 - 我爱你 - We're gonna have such a good time. - I love you.
- 我会是一个好室友的，我保证 - 好的 - I'll be a good roommate. I promise. - Okay.
哦 Ohh!
有一个女朋友真好 It's so nice to have a girlfriend.
是的, 哼? Yeah, huh?
维奥拉？ Viola?
- 你还好吗？ - 我睡不着 - Are you all right? - I can't sleep.
我觉得好孤单 I feel so alone.
我真的 I do.
你不孤单啊，我在这 You're not alone. I'm here.
你吃药了吗？ Did you take your pills?
我的药？哦，没有，我忘了 My pills? Oh no, I forgot.
你能帮我拿过来吗，亲爱的？ Could you get them for me, sweetie?
它们在厨房的水槽那边 They're on the sink.
好的 Sure.
给你 Here they are.
- 谢谢 - 不客气 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
哦，我没有水 请给我倒杯水好吗？ Oh, I don't have any water. Could you get me some water please?
好吧 Okay.
我不能喝水龙头的水 Oh, I can't drink out of the tap.
能给我拿“依云”矿泉水...再加点冰吗？ Would you get me some Evian... with ice?
好的 Yeah.
给你 Here you go.
哦，谢谢 Oh, thank you.
睡个好觉，好吗？ You have a good night, okay?
夏洛特? Charlotte?
我讨厌问你这个 I hate to ask you this,
不过这是我在这的第一个晚上 but it's my first night here.
你能陪我吗？ Could you stay with me?
求你了？ Please?
和我一起睡，做个好女孩 Sleep with me. Be a good girl.
啊？不，不，不 Huh? No no no!
不，别！ No no, don't!
天哪！维奥拉! God! Viola!
- 你还好吗？ - 不，放开我 - Are you okay? - No, let go of me, you!
不 No.
哼? 哦! Huh? Oh!
好了，好了 Okay. Okay.
嗨，今天还好吗？ Hi, how was your day?
今天...还好了 It was... okay.
很好 Wonderful!
你在做菜 You're cooking.
我想亲自给你做一顿晚餐 I wanted to make you dinner all by myself.
- 坐吧 - 好的 - Sit. - Okay.
这是鱼片腰子饼 It's steak and kidney pie.
实际上，鱼片没有及时解冻 所以大部分是腰子 Actually, the steak didn't defrost in time so it's mostly kidney.
嗯! Mmm!
- 喜欢吗？ - 哦 - Do you like it? - Mm-hm!
我今天做了一个决定 I made a decision today.
我给我的律师打电话 要求他重新改写我的遗嘱 I called my lawyer and I asked him to redo my will.
我想要把我的新女儿也包含进去 I want to include my new daughter.
维奥拉，真的没有必要 Really, Viola, that's not necessary.
哦，别傻了，我愿意 Oh, don't be silly. I want to.
当然他们还有些愚蠢的问题要问 Of course they have all these stupid questions that they want to ask.
比如象，“你是个合法的外星人吗？” You know, like, "Are you currently an illegal alien?"
哦，我不是 Oh, uh, no.
很有意思，好吧 Oh, that's interesting. Okay.
你的家族里面有什么遗传病吗？ Um, are there any hereditary illnesses in your family?
你知道，这些可能会传给我的孙子们？ You know, the kind that could be passed on to grandchildren?
- 没有 - 没有 - Uh, no. - No.
你曾经和多少个男人发生过关系？ How many men have you been sexually active with?
什么？他们干嘛要知道这个？ What? Why would they want to know that?
那就是很多了，对吗？ That many, huh?
你愿意签订婚前协议吗？ Would you be willing to sign a prenuptial agreement?
- 什么？ - 我知道 - Excuse me? - I know.
他们都是些好管闲事的混蛋 这些不关他们的事 They're such nosy bastards. It's none of their business.
我们以后再处理这个 Let's just deal with this later.
不，我们为什么不现在就处理它？ No, why don't we deal with it right now?
我告诉你，我会清理厨房的 I'll tell you what, I'll clean up the kitchen
你继续享用你的晚餐吧 and you continue enjoying your dinner.
不不不 No no no.
我已经做了饭，我来清理吧 You did all the cooking. I'll clean up.
- 你确定吗？ - 当然 - Are you sure? - Yeah.
我有点累了，谢谢 I am kind of tired. Thanks.
那么我上床去了 Well, I'll just go up to bed then.
我昨晚睡得不好 I had kind of a difficult night last night.
你睡得不好？ You had a difficult night?
他在打滑，失去控制了 He's skidding out of control.
公共汽车失去控制了 This bus is out of control.
有人吗？ Is somebody there?
蒂娜 Tina.
到底是谁？ Who the hell is that?
哦 Oh.
什么？天哪 What? Oh my God.
- 我还以为你睡了 - 我睡不着 - I thought you were sleeping. - Well, I couldn't sleep.
你觉得我的衣服怎么样？ Hmm? What do you think of my outfit?
这是毛主席给我的长袍 This is a ceremonial robe given to me by Chairman Mao.
这些是配长袍的 These go with the robe.
这是达赖喇嘛给我的生日礼物 This was a birthday gift from the Dalai Lama.
他从来都没有忘记过我的生日 He never forgot my birthday.
当然现在他不会再关心了 Of course now he doesn't care anymore.
- 你介意我坐在你旁边吗？ - 不介意 - Do you mind if I sit with you? - No.
- 就一会 - 好吧 - Just for a little while. - Okay.
她在跑什么？ Why is she running?
哦，有人在追她 Well, someone's chasing her.
为什么要追她？ Why is he chasing her?
我不知道 I'm not sure.
哦，那她是谁？ Well, who is he?
不知道，我们得看下去 I don't know. We have to watch.
- 你得停止说话 - 呃 - You have to stop talking. - Mm.
难道你不讨厌她穿的衣服吗？ Don't you hate what she's wearing?
光着脚在外面跑，还有 那是什么 Running out there with bare feet and, what is that,
睡衣吗？演得真假 a pajama top? It's so unrealistic.
我曾经在一个夜晚节目中 做过一段节目 I once did a whole segment on nighttime television.
你不会相信的 You would not believe
人口统计学对广播事业的影响有多大 how much the demographics influence the networks.
我是说真是荒唐 他们关心的只有成本 I mean it's just ridiculous. All they care about is the bottom line.
和家人坐在一起，什么也不做 真是不错，对吗？ Oh, it's so nice just to sit with family and do nothing, huh?
甚至都不用说话 太棒了 Don't even need to talk. It's wonderful.
我真的很想念做一个上班族的妈妈 I miss so much being a working mom.
我过去常常带着凯文, 到布景那里 I used to bring Kevin, though, to the set.
他就是在那里碰到戈尔·维达和成龙的 That's where he met Gore Vidal and Jackie Chan.
是不是还有别的名人在这部电影里面？ Is there anybody famous in this movie?
因为我都不认识他们 Because I don't know any of them.
他们看起来都差不多...所有的女孩 And they all look the same-- all the girls
有一样的身材 所有的男孩有一样的头发 have the same body, all the boys have the same hair.
...有那么多漂亮的人住在洛杉矶吗？ ...so many beautiful people who live in Los Angeles?
我以为所有的漂亮基因都在加利福尼亚 I think all the beautiful genes ended up in California.
他为什么要吻她？我看不懂 Why is he kissing her? It's beyond me.
对不起，我还以为它是空气清新剂 I'm sorry. I thought it was air freshener.
- 查理？ - 贝泰尔医生的办公室 - Charlie? - Dr. Batel's office.
雷诺兹小姐吗？ Miss Reynolds?
嗨 Hi.
是的 Yeah.
没有，好的 Nope. Okay.
再见 Bye.
天哪，我...我很抱歉 Oh God. I-I'm sorry.
你知道吗？那也许是我的错 You know what? That's probably my fault.
我是说，我从来没有想过她会... I mean, I never thought she'd--
你知道吗，她有点古怪？ I mean, she's a little eccentric, you know?
- 对不起 - 哦，没关系 - I'm sorry. - Well, It doesn't matter.
我今晚不想谈你的妈妈 我想谈谈我们 I don't want to talk about your mom tonight. I want to talk about us.
- 我想你 - 我也想你 - I miss you. - I miss you too.
特别是现在我在浴缸里面... Especially now when I'm in the tub...
光着身子，湿漉漉的... naked and wet...
光着... and naked.
真的？ Really?
你知道如果我在的话 我会怎么办吗？ Well, do you know what I would do to you if I was there?
- 什么？ - 哦，首先是开胃菜... - What? - Well, for starters--
查理 Charlie!
- 我没有看，我没有看 - 喂？ - I'm not looking. I'm not looking. - Hello?
- 我只是想把洗发香波还给你 - 你妈妈刚刚走进来了 - I just wanted to return your shampoo. - Your mom just walked in.
你真的应该用洗发香波 这样你的头发不会太干 You really should use a shampoo that doesn't dry your hair so much.
我们可不想要一个 带着面纱的干枯的新娘 We don't want a bride with straw under her veil.
- 哦，是凯文吗？ - 是的 - Oh, is that Kevin? - Yeah, it is.
- 亲爱的，你妈想和你说几句 - 亲爱的 - Honey, your mom wants to talk to you. - Sweetie, hi.
- 妈，你好 - 我真没办法感谢你们两个 - Hi, Mom. - Honey, I can't thank you both enough.
- 当然 - 我度过了一生中最美好的时光 - Of course. - I'm having the most wonderful time.
- 查理怎么样？ - 哦，她是个乖孩子 - How's Charlie? - Oh, she's been a doll.
我们整个礼拜都是好朋友 We've been girlfriends all week.
- 太好了 - 我想到回家就觉得很不开心 - Great. - I'm gonna be sad to go home.
你也是？哦，你永远都不知道 未来会发生什么，对吗？ You do? Well, you never know what the future's gonna bring right?
我真喜欢这些邻居 I mean, I do love this neighborhood.
事实上，隔着两户人家 In fact, you know, two doors down,
有一间正在售出 there's this house for sale.
它有两个很大的窗户 It's got two big bay windows
还有一个漂亮的玫瑰花园 and a great rose garden.
我非常喜欢那个花园 You know how I love rose gardens.
基本上，到处都是我的名字 And basically, it's got my name all over it.
我让我的...我的... I'm having my-- my-- um...
地产朋友去看了 real estate guy look into it.
她在这里买了房子？ She's buying a house here?
就离着两户 Two doors away.
“可爱的房子，漂亮的窗户” "Lovely property. Beautiful bay windows."
都是胡说 It's bullshit!
她甚至连邻居都不喜欢 She doesn't even like this neighborhood.
天哪，我精疲力竭了 Oh God, I'm so exhausted.
她快让我发疯了 She's driving me insane!
- 我办不到了 - 你可以的 - I can't do this. - Yes, you can!
不要像个大孩子一样了 Stop being such a big baby.
凯文是你这辈子遇到的最好的东西 Kevin is the best thing that ever happened to you.
查理，这个可不能放弃 Charlie, do not give up on this one.
看起来亲爱的妈妈一直都在 It seems Mommy Dearest has been keeping
监视着你 a very close eye on you, sweetie.
你在说什么？ 你穿她的衣服干嘛？ What are you talking about? What are you doing in her clothes?
我刚刚上楼去，在她的房间 翻看我私人的东西了 I was just upstairs in her room minding my own business.
我在她的壁橱里面发现了这些 And I found all of this in her closet.
她一直都在调查你 She's been investigating you.
喔 Whoa.
她为什么会有你的学校的笔记？ Why does she have your high school transcripts?
我知道 I know.
还有我在海滩的照片？！ There's a picture of me at the beach?!
- 是的 - 真不敢相信 - Yes, it is. - I can't believe that.
还有你在这里的照片 There's another picture of you in here.
这个...看这个 And it's-- look.
看这个，很近的 Look at that. It's like a closeup.
但你必须很近才能拍到，对吗？ But you have to be close to take that, right?
瞧瞧这些古琦牌子的东西 Look at all this Gucci!
就是古琦，古琦，古琦 It's just Gucci Gucci Gucci!
她还有顶级的面霜，一瓶卖400美元 She has skin caviar. This stuff sells for $400 a jar.
- 我听说过，我想试试 - 这里 - I've heard of that. I want a try. - Here.
- 哦 - 闻起来是不是很香？ - Mm. - Doesn't that smell good?
哦 Ooh, hello.
这是什么？ What are these?
那些是她的治焦虑症的药 Those are just her anti-anxiety pills.
- 哦，好东西 - 真的？ - Ooh, these are good. - Really?
它们可以放倒一匹马 我家里也有 They'd knock out a horse. I have these at home.
- 你也有？ - 等等 - You do? - Wait
我不知道这些是什么 不过绝对不是我吃过的药 I don't know what these are. But they're definitely not what I take.
闻起来象桔子或别的什么 They smell like oranges or something.
- 确定吗？ - 当然 - Are you sure? - Yeah.
我看看 Let me see.
嗨，安迪，我是查理 Hi, Andy. It's Charlie.
我这个礼拜不在贝泰尔办公室上班 Now, I'm not working for Dr. Batel's office this week.
不过我有一个问题，哦，是关于一些药的 But I had a question. Yeah, about some pills.
我能过去吗？ Can I stop by?
查理，我今天有点不舒服 Charlie, I'm having a bit of a bad day,
所以鲁比打算带我去见见张伯伦医生 so Ruby's gonna take me to see Dr. Chamberlain.
好吧，保重 Okay! You take care!
让我们瞧瞧你去哪了 Let's see what you're up to.
- 给你 - 谢谢，非常感谢 - There you go. - Thank you. Thank you so much.
- 谢谢 - 记得穿上 - And thank you. - Wear that, sister.
好吧，卡迪亚在下面一层 Okay, now Cartier is one right down.
- 耐克城在哪？ - 什么？ - Where's Niketown? - What?
- 耐克城 - 耐克城？ - Niketown. - Niketown?
“不舒服”，简直是扯蛋 Bad day, my ass.
等等 Wait a minute.
张伯伦医生？ Dr. Chamberlain?
好的 All right.
喂？ Hello?
安迪，你好 Hey, Andy.
那是什么？ What are they?
口嚼维他命C，啊？ Chewable vitamin Cs, huh?
好的，谢谢 Okay, thanks.
我知道，真不敢相信离婚礼只有一个礼拜了 I know. I can't believe the wedding's only a week away.
我们礼拜一最后排练一次 No, we do the final walk-through on Monday.
等等，我想我听到她的车子的声音了 Oh! Wait a minute. I think I hear her car.
把我的东西放到我家里去，好吗？ Drop my stuff at my house, okay?
好的，看起来疯狂一些 All right. Look crazy.
查理 Charlie!
Ch-ch-ch... Ch-ch-ch...
查理! Ch-ch-ahh-- Charlie!
我今天不得不把它带回来 Oh, I had to bring him home with me today.
它不会伤人的 He's harmless.
坐下 Sit. No!
不要这样，别 No. No.
别，佐罗！坐下！ No, Zorro! Sit!
这件很贵吗？ Is that expensive?
曾经是 It was.
对不起 Sorry!
哦 Oh!
查理 Charlie!
奖给你的 Bonus.
好孩子，走 Good boy. Come on.
走吧 Come on.
嗯 Mmm.
老朋友，你好 Hello, old friend.
维奥拉 Viola!
你不能把药和酒混在一起的 You can't mix alcohol with your pills!
我有点不开心 I'm a little upset
你能想象得到 as you can imagine.
哦，我知道 Well, I know that
我很抱歉，不过你的医生说过了 and I'm sorry, but your doctor said
如果你觉得不开心 if you're feeling upset
你应该吃药，而不是喝酒 that you should take your pills, not alcohol.
你放松点，我去拿药 So you relax. I'll get them.
见鬼 Shit.
给你 Here we go.
这会让你感觉好些 This will make you feel better.
喝水 Drink up.
我希望你喜欢我做的菜 Now I hope you like what I made.
是我妈妈的一个特色菜 It's one of my mother's specialties.
- 那是什么？ - 内脏 - What's that? - Tripe.
非常精致的 It's a delicacy.
试试看 Try it.
看起来就象你从来没有尝过的东西 It's like nothing you've ever tasted.
相信我 Trust me.
凯文打电话了 So Kevin called.
他明天就回来了 我真是等不及了 He's coming home tomorrow. I can't wait.
我真兴奋，我是多么想念他 I'm so excited. I miss him so much.
我一直在想，也许我们三个明天一起吃个午饭 I was thinking maybe the three of us could go to lunch tomorrow.
你觉得呢？ What do you think?
是的，我也认为是个好主意 Yeah, I think it's a great idea too.
我会定位子的 I'll make reservations.
多有意思啊 It'll be so much fun.
难道你不喜欢做朋友吗？ Don't you just love being girlfriends?
晚安，睡个好觉 Night-night, sleep tight.
早上好，你也是 And good morning to you too.
- 鲁比，是你吗？ - 这里 - Ruby, is that you? - In here!
天哪，她还好吗？ Oh my God. Is she all right?
我还以为她上床了 I thought she went to bed.
不知道，我从来没有见过她这样 I don't know. I haven't seen her like this
自从“视点”赢得艾美奖以来 since "The View" won an Emmy.
我真希望能留下来帮忙 I wish I could stay and help
不过我得去机场接凯文了 but I've got to go pick up Kevin at the airport.
什么？ What?
我低估你了 I underestimated you.
你不需要一支枪 You don't need a gun.
不知道你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
嗯-哼 Mm-hm.
最后一次了！ Last call!
我们明天晚上见 We'll see you tomorrow night.
找一个凯文·菲尔德订的位子 Uh, there's a reservation under Fields, Kevin.
这边走 Yes, right this way.
真高兴我妈和你过了愉快的一周 I'm so glad my mom and you had a great week.
确实，我从她那里学到了很多东西 We did. I learned a lot about her.
谁是神秘嘉宾？ So who's the mystery guest?
哦，吃惊吧 Oh, surprise!
我还以为你的同事 说我们单独吃午饭 I thought your office said we were having lunch alone.
我希望你们能原谅我，我只是... Well, I hope you guys forgive me. I just--
我想同时和你，还有凯文一起聊聊 I wanted to talk to you and Kevin together.
妈，你还好吗？ So how are you, Mom?
很好 Fine.
尽管我昨晚睡得不好 Though I did have a rather difficult night.
哦，也许是因为你喝了马提尼酒 Ooh, it was probably that martini you had.
妈，你不应该喝酒的 Mom, you're not supposed to be drink alcohol
和吃药一起不好 with those pills you're taking.
事实是 You know, the truth is
我要向你道歉 I owe you an apology.
我对你的感觉是那么反应迟钝 You know, I was so insensitive to your feelings
关于你要帮助我们的婚礼 about wanting to help with the wedding.
哦，那是陈年往事了 Oh, it's ancient history.
一个年轻的新娘不愿意 听一个老寡妇的意见 A young bride doesn't want to hear the opinions of an old widow.
不不，不是这样的 No no, that is not true.
我是说，你很快就是我的妈妈了 I mean, you're going to be my mom soon.
希望很快就是祖母了 And a grandma shortly after, hopefully.
我想要你知道 我愿意做任何事情 And I want you to know that I will do anything it takes
来保持我们的关系 to make this relationship work.
也就是说... That said...
你愿意做我的伴娘... will you be my maid--
我是说，我的首席伴娘吗？ I mean, my matron of honor?
查理，这个...这太让人不可思议了 Charlie, that's-- that's amazing.
- 妈，你觉得怎么样？ - 可是，呃... - Mom, what do you say? - But, uh...
摩根应该是你的首席伴娘 Morgan is gonna be your maid of honor.
哦，不，她已经很有风度地 把这个头衔让给你了 Oh no, she has graciously relinquished her title to you.
我还特别准备了这个 And I had this specially made up.
一件你最喜爱的粉红色做的衣服 A dress in your favorite color-- peach.
- 来，打开它 - 哦，这是... - Come on, open it. - Well, that's--
查...啊 Char-- ah.
我...我觉得我不行 I-I don't think I can.
妈，我觉得是个好主意 Mom, I think it's a great idea.
我只是觉得我胜任不了 I just don't think I'm up to it.
我真的不行，我得和医生谈谈 I really don't. I've got to talk to my doctor.
哦，我给他打电话了 真的 Oh, I called him. Yeah!
而且他说这是个好主意 And he said he thought it was a great idea.
- 你打电话给我的精神病医生？ - 哦 - You called my psychiatrist? - Mm-hmm.
事实上，我们昨天一起吃的午餐 In fact, we had lunch at The lvy.
哦，不管怎样... Well, anyway--
他说，考虑到这是你的人生转折点 he said, considering this turning point in your life,
你知道，突然失去了这么多 you know, losing so much so suddenly,
参与到未来的事情中 that being involved in the future
对你来说，会是世界上最好的治疗 would be the best therapy in the world for you right now.
小心点，你知道那些药力很强的 Careful. You know those are strong.
你知道吗，我们...是你的未来 You know, we... are your future.
我们希望你参加进来 and we want you to be part of it.
我可以分配一大串的事情给你明天做 I can have a list of duties for you tomorrow.
不 No.
妈...别，妈 M-mom-- no, Mom.
妈，别哭 Mom, don't cry.
给你 Here.
查理. Charlie.
我还以为我不会这样感情丰富 I didn't think I would be this emotional.
妈，这个，可以吗？ Mom, here. Can l?
哦, 哦! Oh, oh!
谢谢你，宝贝，我爱你 Oh, thank you, baby. I love you.
- 我也爱你 - 我也爱你 - I love you too. - I love you too!
妈，我也爱你 I love you too, Mom.
凯文，知道吗？ 干嘛不让你妈和我独处一会呢？ Kevin, you know what? Why don't you give your mom and I a moment alone?
当然 Yes, of course.
你知道了，哭会让人变老的 Just so you know, the crying bits are getting old.
你也知道，凯文喜欢瘦的女孩子 Just so you know, Kevin likes his girls thin.
哦，好吧，我可以去做抽脂 Oh! Well, I can always get liposuction.
不过我一直想问你，那痛不痛？ I've been meaning to ask. Is it painful?
那个首席伴娘的位子 That maid of honor bit.
真是贵重啊 Priceless!
你知道他们怎么说的吗？ 离你的朋友近一点，离你的敌人要更加近一点 You know what they say? Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.
- 哦 - 现在你听我说 - Oh! - Now you listen to me.
这是我的游戏 This is my game now.
你要告诉凯文说 你不打算搬到我们隔壁 You are going to tell Kevin that you are not moving into our neighborhood,
而且你决定 and that you've decided that you're feeling like it's time
你觉得是时候回去 过你自己的生活了 that you go on with your own life!
马上从我的房子里面搬出去 You're moving out of our house immediately.
一切都结束了 This is over!
哦! Oh!
这还没有结束 离得远呢，小女孩 This isn't over, not even close, girlie!
哦，那就来吧，老奶奶 Well, bring it on, Grandma.
那个小婊子 That little bitch!
我们去海边，吃个午餐 Let's go someplace near the ocean and drink lunch.
什么？ What?
你知道为什么 You know exactly what.
走开 Move!
走开！走开！ Move! Move!
你怎么了？ What's wrong with you?
我烦透了 我烦透，烦透，烦透你了 I am sick. I am sick sick sick of your shit.
我不烦的时候，是我累坏了 And I when I'm not sick, I'm tired.
我又烦又累 I am sick and tired.
你说什么？ What are you saying?
去你的，还有你的行李 Damn you and your luggage!
鲁比，你不是也要离开我吧，对吗？ Ruby, you're not going to leave me too, are you?
不，我不会离开你 No, I'm not leaving you!
你这个老荡妇 You old slut!
鲁比 Ruby!
- 鲁比，求求你... - 你差点忘了你的衣服 - Ruby, please-- - Hey, you almost forgot your dress!
你在婚礼上会没有衣服穿的 You'll have nothing to wear to the wedding.
鲁比，再见 See you, Ruby!
也许我们可以给你找一个配它的帽子 Maybe we can get you a matching bonnet.
排练晚会上见 See you at the rehearsal dinner!
他妈... Motherf--!
那么，准新娘怎么样了？ So, how's the bride-to-be holding up?
在这种情况下，我只能说普普通通 不过她很坚强 Ooh, under the circumstances I'd say mediocre. But she's tough.
还没有老鸟那么坚强 Not as tough as the old bird.
- 这是什么意思？ - 是为了你们的安全 - What does that mean? - For your own safety,
时刻确保你们知道紧急出口在哪 make sure you know where the emergency exits are at all times.
你和我妈都好吗？ Hey, are you and my mom okay?
很好，我只是有点婚前紧张 Great. Yeah, I just have a little of the pre-wedding nerves,
不过一切都在掌握之中 but everything's under control.
当然 Of course.
大家好 Hello, everyone!
欢迎来到排练晚会 Welcome to the rehearsal dinner.
- 天哪，她看起来真漂亮 - 我知道 - My God, she looks amazing. - I know.
哦 Oh!
傣森神父 Father Tyson.
布莱尔，你好 Hello, Blaire.
吉特，你好吗？ Kit, how are you?
你好，你好 Hello, hello.
- 哦，你就是摩根 - 是的 - Oh, you are Morgan. - Yes.
我听说过你那美味的晚宴服务 I have heard so much about your delicious catering service.
哦 Oh! Oh, wow!
我认识很多朋友 你会忙得团团转的 I have a lot of friends. You're going to be a busy girl.
- 你就是雷米 - 是的 - And you're Remy. - Yeah.
我是从查理告诉我的 那些了不起的事情里面认出你的 I recognize you from all the wonderful things Charlie's told me about you.
喔，哦，菲尔德小姐，我得说... Wow. Well, Ms. Fields, I have to say--
- 请叫我维奥拉，我坚持 - 维奥拉 - Oh, call me Viola. Please, I insist. - Viola.
- 好吧，我打算去拿点喝的 - 好的 - All right, I'm gonna go get a drink. - Okay.
我是你的一个狂热的影迷 I'm such a huge fan.
- 你... - 我... - Oh, you-- - Oh, l--
请自便吧 Well, mi casa, su casa. Make yourself at home.
- 谢谢，再见，维奥拉. - 干杯 - Thank you. Bye, Viola. - Cheers.
- 再见 - 我很喜欢她 - Goodbye. - I like her a lot. Hi.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hey! - Hi!
- 你们刚才谈得很开心？ - 哦，天哪，她走过来 - You guys have a nice little chit-chat? - Oh my God. She came over
和我们聊天，你要我们怎么做？ and started talking to us. What did you want us to do?
- 视而不见？ - 没错 - lgnore her? - Yes!
这么说要她的照片 完全不成问题了？ So then getting her autograph would be completely out of the question?
- 这表示可以吗？因为...明白了 - 不 - Was that yes? 'Cause-- okay. - No.
那时我坐在文莱苏丹旁边 So there I was sitting next to the Sultan of Brunei
还有莫琳·杜德， 卡丽·费希尔和史努比·狗狗 with Maureen Dowd, Carrie Fisher and Snoop Dogg.
你知道那个故事的，凯文 You know the story, Kevin.
我对史努比说，“史努比，我认为你的歌词 I said to Snoop, "Snoop, I think your lyrics
有时候有些男性主义 对女性不公平” are sometimes a little sexist and unfair to women."
然后文莱苏丹就说 “真的吗？我有114位太太 And the Sultan of Brunei said, "Really? I have 114 wives
她们都是狗狗的忠实歌迷” and they're all huge fans of the Dogg!"
亲爱的，能去看看是谁敲门吗？ Honey, would you see who's at the door?
当然 Sure.
味道真不错，维奥拉 These are delicious, Viola.
哦，吉特，很高兴你喜欢 Oh, Kit, I'm glad you like it.
不错 Mm, yeah.
瞧谁来了，是张伯伦医生 Look who's here. It's Dr. Chamberlain.
天哪！是张伯伦医生 Oh my God! It's Dr. Chamberlain.
- 大家好，这位是张伯伦医生 - 晚上好 - Hi! Everybody, it's Dr. Chamberlain! - Hi. Good evening.
- 非常感谢邀请我 - 糟了 - Thanks so much for inviting me. - Oh, shit!
这是张伯伦医生，是维奥拉的医生 That's Dr. Chamberlain. He's Viola's doctor.
我们还需要一个位子 Oh, we're going to need another place setting.
请让我来 Oh, please, let me get that.
- 在卧室里面有一张椅子 - 好的 - There's a chair in the living room. - Sure.
过来，你们，来吧，腾个地方 Scootch down, you guys. Come on, make room.
你们挪过来 You guys move down.
干杯，谢谢 Cheers. Thank you.
他是谁？ Who's he?
是维奥拉的医生，移过来，你们 It's Viola's therapist. Move down, you guys!
- 对不起 - 没问题 - Excuse me. - No problem.
- 医生，你的椅子 - 我的也拿去 - Here's you chair, Doctor. - Here. Have mine, too.
你好 Hello.
嗨 Hi.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
我去 I'll get it.
你刚到这里？ So you just got here?
- 你还在等人吗？ - 啊 - Are you expecting anyone else? - Huh-uh.
- 大家好 - 菲奥纳 - Hello, everybody! - Fiona!
很高兴见到你 I'm so glad to see you.
我只是忍不住给 这对幸福的新人 I just couldn't resist bringing the happy couple
一点小小的礼物 a little gift.
很好，我会给你找个位子 That's great. I will get you a place setting.
她带礼物来了？ 我还以为她就是礼物 She's bringing a gift? I think she is the gift.
她到底来干嘛？ What the hell is she doing here?
- 再来点酒怎么样，各位？ - 好的 - How about some more wine, everyone? - Yeah!
我们还要呆多久？ 明天还要考试呢 How much longer do we have to stay? I have midterms tomorrow.
嘘 Shh.
- 我知道了 - 不，宝贝，不是现在，好吗？ - Oh, I get it. - No, baby, not now, okay?
还不是时候 It's not the time.
那么，张伯伦医生 So, Dr. Chamberlain,
给我们讲讲医学院 你是在哪里实习的？ tell us about med school. Where did you do your residency?
哦，那是...那说起来话长了 Uh, now that's-- that's a long story.
我认为大伙不会想听的 I don't think your guests want to hear that.
不，我们真的很想知道 No, we really want to know.
我想我们还需要些肉汁 I think we need some more gravy.
怎么回事？ What is going on?
你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
我在忙 I'm behaving.
维奥拉，别这样 Viola, no!
你不能这样 查理对坚果过敏 You can't! Charlie's allergic to nuts!
给我 Give it to me!
维奥拉，你疯了 Viola, you're crazy.
哦，起来 Oh, get up.
把肉汁放下，否则我会告诉凯文 Put the gravy down or I'm telling Kevin.
一定会 Yeah!
有什么大不了的？ 只是她的脸肿起来... What's the big deal? So her face swells up--
肿一点点，又怎么样？ swells up a little. So what?
肿一点？她的脸会肿得象 玛丽游行日的气球一样 Swells up a little? Her face'll blow up like a Macy's Day balloon.
哦，好啊，那样就会 和她身体其他部分相配了 Well, good. It'll match the other body parts!
维奥拉，想想你干的事情 Viola, think about what you're doing.
好了，这个女孩明天就要结婚了 Come on, the girl's getting married tomorrow!
鲁比，你什么时候失去你的锐气的？ Ruby, when did you lose your edge?
就在你失去理智之后 Right after you lost your mind.
好了 Come on.
好吧，不上坚果 All right. Okay. No nuts.
走吧 Come on.
维奥拉，我觉得你把我那里打错位了 Viola, I think you dislocated my vagina.
- 到哪去了... - 什么到哪去了？ - Where's the-- - Where's the what?
要肉汁吗？谁要？ Gravy? More gravy?
还有人要肉汁吗？ Anyone for more gravy?
这可不是上班时间 Oh, I am not doing time for you!
- 后门在哪里？ - 鲁比，别紧张 - Where's the back door? - Stay cool, Ruby!
别紧张！没有时间惊惶失措了 Stay cool! This is no time to lose your nerve.
如果我被捕了 我会哭得象金丝雀一样 If I get arrested I'm gonna sing like a canary.
也许她不会吃肉汁的 Maybe she won't take any gravy.
- 放这么多肉汁 - 哦 - That's a lot of gravy. - Mmm!
这些肉汁味道很好 This gravy's delicious!
你...你得去阻止她 You-- you gotta go stop her!
- 去，阻止她，快去阻止她 - 你去，你去，你去 - Go on, stop her. Go stop her. - You go, you go, you go.
为什么是我？ 你才是主犯，你去 Why me? You're the culprit? You go!
- 你是我的助理 - 我该怎么做？ - You're my assistant. - What am I supposed to do?
出去然后把我的手指塞进她的喉咙？ Go out there and stick my finger down her throat?
没错 Yeah.
宝贝，你还好吗？ Baby, are you okay?
凯文，我的舌头觉得怪怪的 Kevin, my tongue feels weird.
我觉得有些不对劲 I think something's wrong!
查理，你还好吗？ Charlie, are you okay?
- 我们现在怎么办？ - 把这些该死的坚果藏起来 - What are we gonna do now? - Hide the damn nuts!
- 你还好吗？ - 给她来杯水 - Are you all right? - Get her some water.
要普通的还是苏打水? Flat or sparkling?
承办宴会的人说他不知道 怎么会这样 The caterer says he doesn't know how this could have happened.
我觉得好像吃了一大块坚果 Well, I feel like I ate a loaf of nuts.
我是说，甚至我的舌头都肿起来了 I mean, even my tongue is swollen.
你娶了一个又大又肥的 蓬蓬的马铃薯嘴 You're marrying a big, fat, puffy tomato mouth.
没有那么糟，真的 而且，肿的地方已经开始消退了 It's not that bad, really. Besides, the swelling's already going down.
- 真的吗？ - 嗨 - Yeah? - Hey, Kev.
- 是的 - 我只是来看看 - Yeah. - Just coming to check up
准新娘怎么样了 天哪... on the bride-to-be. For the love of God--
- 出去 - 看见了？ - Out! - You see?
我告诉过你看起来很可怕 I told you it looks terrible.
- 我告诉过你 - 宝贝，我向你保证 - I told you. - Baby, I promise you.
24小时后，肿胀会完全消退 In 24 hours the swelling will be completely gone.
把那个给我 Give me that!
门开着 Door was open.
感谢上帝 Oh thank God.
- 怪物新娘走了 - 我知道 - The Bride of Frankenstein is gone. - I know.
我晚上都在担心 I was up half the night worrying.
- 你看起来很漂亮 - 我只是不知道 - You look great. - I just don't know
- 那些坚果是怎么回事？ - 是啊 - how those nuts got in there. - Yeah.
等等 Hmm. Wait.
你认为她会不会... Hey, do you think she would--
不会 No!
得了 Come on.
她是有点疯狂 I mean, she's crazy,
但还不至于象精神病杀人狂 but she's not like, psycho-killer crazy.
嗯 Hmm.
不会 No!
我想知道，我可以带上我的伴 Oh, hey, I was wondering. Could I bring a date
参加你的婚礼？ to your wedding?
当然，天哪，太好了 Of course. My God. How exciting.
很好，谢谢，待会见 Great. Thanks. So then, I'll see you later.
可是...等...等等 But-- w-wait!
- 是谁？告诉我 - 哦，是... - Who is he? Tell me! - Oh, it's--
不要发火，是张伯伦医生 okay, don't be mad. It's Dr. Chamberlain.
实际上是“保尔” Actually "Paul."
- 那是他的真名吗？ - 很有意思 - Is that his real name? - That's very funny.
我得去打扮打扮 给我的眉毛上点蜡 I gotta go get a mani, pedi and my eyebrows waxed.
几个小时后再见，好吗？ But I'll see you in a couple hours, okay?
- 我和你一起下去 - 好吧 - Oh, let me go down with you. - Okay.
天哪 Oh God.
她把褶裥加得更大了 She added even more ruffles!
你的舞伴在哪里，小姐？ Where's your prom date, se?orita?
等一会，这太好了 我的相机呢 Oh, wait a minute. This is too damn good. Where's my camera?
太好了 This is just too good.
帮我脱掉这个好吗？ Will you just get me out of this right now?
过来 Come here.
- 干杯 - 嗨 - Cheers. - Hey.
多谢光临 Thanks for coming.
各位，我们去看看查理怎么样了 Okay, guys, let's go see how Charlie's doing.
哦，请 Ah, yes, please.
呃-哼 Uh-huh.
天哪，比我做的好多了 Oh my God. Those are so much better than mine.
别...碰我 Don't... touch me!
我怎么坐进去的，就怎么出来... I got out of that car the same way I got in it--
不需要你帮忙 她在哪里？ without you. Now where is she?
你是和新娘还是新郎来的？ You here with the bride or the groom?
我和我妈妈来的 I'm here with my mother.
哦 Oh.
她看起来成熟多了，我... She looked a lot older. I--
哦，瞧瞧我们这位 Well, look what we have here.
天哪 Oh my God.
你看起来漂亮极了，天哪 You look beautiful. Oh my God.
- 天哪 - 真的吗 - Oh my God. - This is it!
没错 Yeah!
- 天哪，你和牧师说过了吗？ - 我和他说过了 - Oh God, did you talk to the priest? - I talked to him.
他会跳过那一整段 He's just going to skip right over that whole
- “如果有人反对的话”那段 - 好的 - "if anyone should object" part. - Okay.
你真象是白色的幻境，亲爱的，真的 You're a vision in white, sweetie, really.
敲门了，看看你 Knock knock. Look at you!
你的婆婆也是 And so is your mother-in-law.
嗯-嗯-嗯 Mm. Mm-mm-mm.
好吧，大家都出去 All right. Everybody out.
出去，给新娘一点时间 Out. Give the bride a moment.
- 不行 - 什么？ - No way. - What?
这是什么？ What is that?
- 怎么了？ - 你的伴娘的衣服呢？ - What? - Where's your bridesmaid's dress?
哦，我把它给了鲁比的女儿了 Oh, I gave it to Ruby's daughter.
她在和特斯餐厅上班，她激动坏了 She works at Hooters. She was thrilled.
我没有女儿啊？ I don't have a daughter?
哦 Oh.
得用粗鲁的了 Rude.
马上脱下这件衣服 Take off that white dress right now
否则我来帮你脱 or I'll take it off for you.
别跟我说我该怎么做 Don't you tell me what to do!
你敢戳我 You did not just poke me!
别碰我，你这个微不足道的贱货 Don't you touch me, you two-bit tramp!
天哪，维奥拉，我真的很抱歉 Oh my God! Viola, I'm so sorry.
我不是有意的... I didn't mean to--
你不能去扇了一个人的耳光 然后和他说对不起 You don't go and slap somebody then apologize.
有勇气一点 Get some backbone!
天哪，太疯狂了 God! This is crazy!
你怎么就不能面对它呢？ Why don't you just face it?
我今天和凯文结婚 你无论做什么都改变不了 I'm marrying Kevin today and there's nothing you can do about it.
你也面对它吧！ 你对他而言，永远都不够好 You face it! You'll never be good enough for him!
我也没有阻止你和我儿子结婚 Didn't stop you from marrying my son.
- 天哪，不 - 哦，看看你 - Oh God, no. - Well, look at you.
一身白色 All in white.
你真是和我料想的一样 You are so predictable.
哦，格特鲁德 我不知道你还会来 Oh, Gertrude. I didn't know you were coming.
你不知道？ You didn't?
我也想知道为什么，哦，我知道了 Wonder why. Oh, I know.
你没有邀请我 You didn't send me an invitation!
我以为你死掉了 I thought you were dead.
不过邪魔不会那么容易死的 But evil doesn't die so easily.
我听说你被解雇了 然后被丢进了疯人院 I heard you got sacked and thrown into a loony bin.
- 哦，哦 - 祝贺你 - Oh! Oh! - My congratulations.
天哪 Oh my God.
天哪 Oh my God!
这些小点心吃起来象旧袜子 These hors d'oeuvres taste like old socks.
现在，我想 Now, I want to get
好好看看新娘 an up-close look at the bride.
天哪 Holy Toledo!
你太漂亮了 You are a stunner!
我的外孙真是个幸运的家伙 My grandson is a lucky fellah.
瞧他干的 Look, what he did.
他出去给自己找了一个外国的拉丁人 He went out and found himself an exotic Latina!
我儿子也这么幸运就好了 Would that my son had been that lucky.
又来了 Here we go again.
怎么了？你是个电视天气预报员 What? You were a television weatherwoman
在杜布克，还有蒙大拿州 in Dubuque, Montana.
你开着一辆破烂的小面包车 You drove around in a broken-down minivan
喝着箱子里拿出来的红酒 and you drank red wine from a box!
真时髦 Classy.
是你杀了他，你知道吗？ You killed him, you know?
- 什么？！ - 你杀了他 - What?! - You killed him.
所有的医生都这么说 All the doctors agreed,
我的儿子死于极端的沮丧 my son died of terminal disappointment!
如果有人杀了他，那就是你 If anybody killed him, you did.
是你让他窒息至死 You smothered him to death!
对他而言，所有人永远都不够好 Nobody was ever good enough for him!
天哪，你看起来老多了 My God, you look old!
没事 Fine.
这女人让我快疯了 This woman is going to drive me insane.
现在，我可不想独占这些荣誉 Now, I'd rather not take all the credit.
你会熬过去的 You'll get over it.
- 我爱你 - 开玩笑 - Okay, I love you. - You're kidding.
这种事永远都不会结束，对吗？ This is never gonna end, is it?
我是说，那会是30年后的我和你 I mean, that's going to be me and you in 30 years.
我们会和这个一模一样 We'll be doing the exact same thing.
知道吗？ You know what?
我想和凯文结婚 因为我们让彼此开心 I wanted to marry Kevin because we make each other happy.
可是你却永远都不想 让这种事发生 But you're never gonna let that happen.
对不对？ Are you?
天哪，真不敢相信我这样说 Oh my God. I can't believe I'm saying this.
维奥拉，你赢了 You win, Viola.
什么意思？ What do you mean?
婚礼取消了 The wedding's off.
鲁比，再见 Bye, Ruby.
我...我真不敢相信 她把我比作格特鲁德. I-I cannot believe she compared me to Gertrude.
我知道，这是不对的 I know. Now that's just wrong.
- 谢谢 - 你还要坏得多 - Thank you. - You are far worse.
我不记得格特鲁德 曾经想过给你下毒 I don't recall Gertrude ever trying to poison you.
而且我很肯定 她是穿黑色衣服参加你的婚礼的 And I'm pretty sure she wore black to your wedding.
黑色，没错，她说她是来参加葬礼的 Black. Yeah, she said she was in mourning.
嗯-哼 Mm-hmm.
我只是希望我的儿子快乐 I just want my son to be happy.
是什么让你认为他不开心的？ Whatever made you think he wasn't?
你在这干嘛？ Hey, what are you doing here?
难道你不知道会带来霉运 如果看到... Don't you know it's bad luck to see the--
查理，怎么了？ Charlie, what's wrong?
怎么了？ What is it?
你很紧张吗？ Are you nervous?
嗨 Hey.
- 凯文，我需要... - 查理 - Kevin, I need-- - Charlie,
我需要和你谈谈 I need to talk to you.
- 维奥拉，够了 - 是那些撒花的女孩 - Viola, stop it! - It's the flower girls.
- 她们又喝酒了 - 什么？ - They're drunk again. - What?
是的，在厕所里面 Yeah, in the toilet.
现在不行，维奥拉，好吗？ Not now, Viola, okay?
真的很重要 It's really important.
就给我们一点时间 她马上过去 Just give us a minute. She'll be right there.
求你了？ Please?
查理，怎么了？ Charlie, what is it?
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
你想怎么样，维奥拉？ What do you want, Viola?
我不想让你 离开这个婚礼 I don't want you to walk out on this wedding.
你不想？ You don't?
是的，我不想 No, I don't.
怎么了，难道我应该相信你 突然神光闪现了吗？ What, am I supposed to believe that you've had some epiphany?
突然之间，一切都不一样了？ That all of the sudden, everything is going to be different?
一直都不是你的问题，查理 It's never been about you, Charlie.
是我的问题 It's me.
我真的很害怕失去他 I've been so afraid of losing him.
他是我唯一的家人 He's the only family I've got.
这也是我成为家人的机会 This is my chance for a family, too.
- 我也很害怕 - 哦 - And I'm scared. - Oh!
不要毁了这个快乐的机会 Don't blow your chance for happiness.
你永远都不需要我的批准 You've never needed my approval.
他爱你，从一开始就是 He's loved you from the very beginning.
我保证我不会阻拦你们的 And I promise I will get out of the way
让你们两个开开心心 and let the two of you be happy.
那不是我想要的 That's not what I want.
我是说，一定会有些限制 I mean, there just has to be some boundaries, Viola.
我可以来限制 I can do boundaries!
我不喜欢限制别人 不过我可以做到 I don't love boundaries but I can do them.
比如你一天给凯文打电话的次数？ How about the number of times you call Kevin a day?
我们可以限制在，比如，一次？ Can we limit that to, like, one?
我需要至少四次 Oh, I need at least four minimum.
- 他已经35岁了 - 三次？ - He's 35 years old. - Three?
- 两次 - 成交 - Two. - Deal.
两个长得要命的电话 Two long-ass calls!
凯文和我有了孩子以后 When Kevin and l have kids,
他和我决定怎么抚养他们 he and I will decide how they're raised.
没问题，不过你知道 我也养大了一个了不起的男孩 All right. But you know I have raised one wonderful boy.
- 我的建议会非常... - 需要的时候会找你的 - And my advice could be very-- - Will be solicited when needed.
好吧，只要每个孩子名字都跟我姓 All right, as long as one kid is named after me.
- 中间的名字 - 成交 - Middle name. - Deal.
还有吗？ What else?
节日，还有特殊的日子 Holidays and special occasions.
你打算也不让我参加吗？ Are you gonna keep me away?
每一个圣诞节 You must be present for every Christmas,
感恩节，生日 Thanksgiving, birthday,
学校比赛，音乐演奏会 school play, clarinet recital
足球比赛，你都必须出席 and soccer game in our kids' lives.
我希望你爱他们 I want you to love them and spoil them
把我和凯文不会的东西，教会他们 and teach them things that Kevin and I can't.
比如象怎么打一记右勾拳 Like how to throw a right hook for example.
我希望你在那，维奥拉. I want you there, Viola.
我愿意，百分百愿意 I do, up front and center.
这点我不会讨价还价了 From this point I will not negotiate.
见鬼，这个女孩口才还真不错 Damn. That girl can give a nice little speech.
成交？ Deal?
哦... Oh--
他们能叫我“维奥拉阿姨”吗？而不是“祖母”？ can they call me "Aunt Viola" instead of "Grandma"?
没问题 Fine.
来，帮我拉开拉链 Come on, unzip me.
维奥拉，你不必穿那件衣服，真的 Viola, you don't have to wear that dress, really.
我需要的，真的 Yes, I do. Really.
凯文和查理 Go, Kevin and Charlie!
耶! Yeah!
妈 Mom!
你真的认为我会不辞而别吗？ Do you really think I would leave without saying goodbye?
我爱你，妈妈 I love you, Mom.
- 谢谢你 - 去吧 - Thanks for everything. - Go.
再见 Bye, you guys!
所有人在车子后面站好 Okay, everybody gather around the back of the car!
查理! Charlie!
查理，这儿！ 这儿，查理！ Charlie, right here! Right here, Charlie!
见鬼 Sheesh.
- 哦，夏威夷，我等不及了 - 我知道，我也是 - Oh, Hawaii! I cannot wait! - I know. I can't either.
在夏威夷玩得开心 Have a great time in Hawaii!
- 一路顺风 - 夏威夷玩得开心 - Good luck! - Have fun in Hawaii!
鲁比，现在只有你和我了 Just you and me now, Ruby!
见鬼，我上辈子杀了谁了？ Jesus. Who did I kill in a past life?
脱掉这件见鬼的衣服 And take off that damn dress.
看起来就像一个大大的粉红色的馅饼 You look like a giant peach cobbler.
你让我觉得饿了 You're making me hungry.
走吧，天气播音女孩 我会给你买一箱红酒 Come on, weathergirl, I'll buy you a box of wine.
∮ For once in my life ∮
∮ I have someone who needs me ∮
∮ Someone I needed so long ∮
∮ For once, unafraid ∮
∮ I can go where life leads me ∮
∮ Somehow I know I'll be strong ∮
∮ For once, I can touch ∮
∮ What my heart used to dream of ∮
∮ Long before I knew ∮
∮ Oh, someone warm like you ∮
∮ Would make my dream come true ∮
- ∮ Yeah yeah yeah ∮ - ∮ For once in our lives ∮
∮ For once in my life ∮
∮ I won't let sorrow hurt me ∮
∮ Not like it's hurt me before ∮
∮ Not like it's hurt before ∮
∮ For once, I have something ∮
∮ I know won't desert me ∮
- ∮ I'm not alone anymore ∮ - ∮ I'm not alone ∮
∮ For once, I can say ∮
∮ "This is mine, you can't take it" ∮
∮ As long as I know I have love I can make it ∮
∮ For once in my life ∮
∮ I have someone who needs me ∮
∮ Someone who needs me ∮
∮ Ah-hah-hah, hey yeah! ∮
∮ Someone who needs me ∮
∮ All I need is love, baby ∮
∮ For once in my life ∮
∮ Make our dreams come true ∮
- ∮ For once in my life ∮ - ∮ For once in my life ∮
∮ I won't let sorrow hurt me ∮
- ∮ Not like it's hurt me before ∮ - ∮ Not like it hurt before ∮
∮ For once, I have something ∮
∮ I know won't desert me ∮
- ∮ I'm not alone anymore ∮ - ∮ I'm not alone anymore ∮
∮ For once I can say ∮
∮ "This is mine, you can't take it" ∮
∮ Long as I know I have love I can make it ∮
∮ For once in my life ∮
∮ I have someone who needs me ∮
- ∮ Someone who needs me ∮ - ∮ Oh ∮
∮ For once in my life ∮
- ∮ Someone who needs me ∮ - ∮ Yeah ∮
∮ Somebody that needs me ∮
- ∮ Someone who needs me ∮ - ∮ For once in my life. ∮
∮ You can cry a million tears ∮
∮ You can wait a million years ∮
∮ If you think that time will change your ways ∮
∮ Don't wait too long ∮
∮ When your morning turns to night ∮
∮ Who'll be loving you by candlelight? ∮
∮ If you think that time will change your ways ∮
∮ Don't wait too long ∮
∮ Maybe I've got a lot to learn ∮
∮ Time can slip away ∮
∮ Sometimes you've got to lose it all ∮
∮ Before you find your way ∮
∮ Take a chance and play your part ∮
∮ Make romance, it might break your heart ∮
∮ But if you think time will change your ways ∮
∮ Don't wait too long ∮
∮ Baby, you and I've got a lot to learn ∮
∮ Don't want to waste another day ∮
∮ Maybe you got to lose it all ∮
∮ Before you find your way ∮
∮ Take a chance, play your part ∮
∮ Make romance, it might break your heart ∮
∮ But if you think time will change your ways ∮
∮ Don't wait too long ∮
∮ Don't wait ∮
∮ Yeah. ∮
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